This is going to be very long and probably confusing as well but please read it, I really need some advice. I don't even know where to start. Let's say you're in your mid 40s and there's this girl who's barely over 20. You've met on the internet and have seen each other in person many times since then. You're used to dating younger people but probably you're not interested in her for whatever reason and you might not even think she'd be interested in you but she is. With being significantly older and having much more life experience I'm assuming you'd be able to figure out if the girl likes you or not. Or maybe she's just a really good actor and you've no idea how infatuated she is with you. What are the signs (giveaways)? I know it's a stupid question because I'm almost sure I can tell when someone likes me but maybe it's different or she thinks of it as nerves or something. But also she knows a lot about me, probably more than I know about her and I just can't figure her out. The most important question is whether she knows or not. Or at least that's what I'm focusing on because obviously the age difference is huge and there is the issue of me being very uncomfortable with anything gay related at the moment which she knows by the way. So maybe even if she knew I liked her a lot she'd still think it would pass and that it's only because she's nice to me and I'm new to this. She also knows I like masculine women (which she is) and mainly older ones (and she's older too). She knows I'm scared of her and all other 'lesbian looking' (stupid term I know) women but she also knows I'm scared of literally everything. So I don't know if she suspects it or not. Also when I'm around her I must always look extremely uncomfortable but I've no idea if she can tell or not. She probably can but I'm so not sure what she knows or does not know anymore. Thank you if you've read it. I know it must sound confusing but I'd really like to know what you make of it all.
hun ill tell you this i feel in love with my partner who is 33 yr older than me and you will know and if she feels the same way she will and i would say go for it, because you never know what will happen and i would say enjoy every second of it sall
I don't know how she feels but I think she knows it too that I couldn't handle being in a relationship with anyone right now. I don't even know why I like her, I just do. I'm not sure what I want from her other than being around her and getting to know her but I'm clueless how to go about it. ---------- Post added 20th Oct 2013 at 05:49 PM ---------- Mostly I'm embarrassed about the whole situation because I'm sure she doesn't feel the same as I do (whatever that might be).
Though i really can't say weather or not she can tell you are into her without being there, I can say go for a friendship with her and see where it leads! I'm always having crushes on women in their 50's and Rarely women my age. There is just something about older butch women that I can't resist!
It gives me hope to hear that some women actually crush on women my age! Having just come out recently (but knowing my whole life). Evora, good luck!
I suggest just trying to be friends. I'm 38 and my love interest is 50. We didn't acknowledge our mutual attraction and interest until out friendship was established/ we new each other better.
Wow. I was totally gonna come in here and ask about something similar, but I guess you beat me to the punch. Most of my fantasies involve older women. She probably at least suspects. It's really not that hard to pick up on that kind of body language. Unless I'm misreading the situation, she's probably just leaving the ball in your court. I'd take a little bit of time to size up your feelings. And if you're feeling something real toward her, even if you're not 100% sure what it is, tell her. It sounds like she already knows you pretty well, so I doubt she'd suddenly be harsh with you. I guess you and I might have different personalities, but I can't really see any critical reason not to be open. It sounds like you're already awkward around her and hurting. And Ava, as long as you're willing to put yourself out there, I think you'll be surprised at what you'll find.
My gf is older than me as well. When it's right it's just right and nothing else matters. I am with everyone else- see where a friendship goes, but don't be scared of the age thing. It's only daunting if you let it be. Good luck!
Thanks for all the replies! Things just got more complicated but I know it would be completely pointless to go into details because even with having all the information I still don't know what to think. The simplest and probably most likely answer is she doesn't know I like her and doesn't feel the same about me. Or maybe she knows but doesn't want me to like her...? I don't know. I don't think so. I just don't think it'd be possible for her to like me while not knowing that I like her. I'm so confused. I know the only way to know for sure is to ask her but I don't want to do that for various reason. I could settle for friendship (in fact, I'd love to!) but it really seems like I've messed things up and I'm really good at masking my feelings and now she thinks I don't like her.
