1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Struggling.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Bear101, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    I've got less than a week before I'm moving out of the house. STBX isn't talking to me about any details. She says everything has to go through her attorney.

    I'll be moving in with my mom and aunt. Meanwhile, I still haven't even found a job.

    And I'm freaking out. A lot.

    I'm binge eating and can't seem to get going in the morning. I'm having more problems than I can talk to anyone about.

    Thanks for listening. I needed to fess up to someone.
     
  2. palimpsest

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vermont
    Bear101, keep talking as much as you need to.

    It sounds like you have a lot going on and that you might be on the edge of being either overwhelmed and/or depressed. Either is understandable. So, keep talking.

    How is your support network in the real world? Even so, keep talking and we'll keep listening.
     
  3. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    I know this bear- I always feel worse when I carb load/sugar binge. Up the protein. It does help! One thing at a time. Your on overload! Talk a walk. Take slow deep breathes! (*hug*)
     
  4. Dragonbait

    Dragonbait Guest

    Bear. I am hoping with all my compassion that at the very least your mom and aunt are supportive. If nothing else, perhaps at least the distance will give you the space you need, out from under the STBXW's glare to become more comfortable in your own skin. Some space and perspective can do wonders.

    And in the meantime, just know that we are all here, we all know - all too well - what you are going through, and the empirical evidence exists, right here on this site, that in the end, it will all be worth the trials and tribulations we face today.

    And believe me when I say WE face today.

    Hugs, man! (*hug*)
     
  5. HopeFloats

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2013
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    US
    Hang in there. I hope you will feel less paralyzed when you're actually out of the house. Keep walking and breathing, one moment at a time.
     
  6. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    I have clinical depression and also PTSD. I work with a psychologist who specializes in weight issues (I'm 220 pounds overweight). She's actually the one that has been helping me with this coming out process.

    My mom and aunt are great. They both know I'm gay and why we're getting a divorce. ALL of my friends have completely abandoned me. 99% of my friends have been through a church and churches that believe homosexuality is a sin.

    I'm also in a complete crisis of faith, but shrink says not to worry about that right now, lol.

    Real life support is spread pretty thin, but there's not a lot I can do about that right now. I'm trying to find a job in 2 major cities within a couple of hours from me, and both of them have LGBT centers. My current town does not. So, I'm hoping that if I can move there, I can get some gay friends.
     
  7. geode

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2013
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi, Bear101. Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. I'm glad you have the support of your mom, aunt, and psychologist. Your friends don't sound like very good friends if they've abandoned you. There are some really good posts on EC about religion and homosexuality; you might find them helpful. Hang in there, and take care!
     
  8. palimpsest

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vermont
    Bear, I'm a pastor and in a crisis of faith. That's not to say that my job description should make me immune, its to say that the answers take time for all of us. Even on this front you are not alone.

    But from a theologian, here me, drop the sin part of your worries. You don't have to appease God, and if you are broken in spirit, just pray. Let it out and wait for that peace to fill you back up. He has not abandoned you, of this I am sure.

    I am with you on needing friends IRL and wish you luck with that, and tips once you figure it out :icon_wink

    Feel free to reach out and just vent the faith stuff with me if that is helpful.
     
  9. Lindsay11

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Quito, Ecuador
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I would advise two things. The first is that you need immediate and ongoing counseling. This is not something that you should try to deal with alone. Stating your situation here is great, but you need someone to talk to in person. Regularly.
    Second, find a way that you can focus on helping someone else in need. Despite the difficult situation you face, there are many people much worse off than you, and it won't be hard to find one of them. You will feel better about yourself and your problems won't seem nearly as harsh.
    We are here for you!
     
  10. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Thanks everyone. I do have some great support, I just hate using it all the time. I feel so needy and "woosie". We decided to divorce in May and I'm still struggling some days. I know it will be better once I find a job. But I've been a stay-at-home dad taking care of the kid for the last 10 years. And trying to find a company willing to take a chance has not been easy.

    Lindsay, I see my shrink weekly (in fact I see her tomorrow). She's what has kept me sane so far. I was also seeing a trauma specialist for my PTSD. She kept me alive when I came too damn close to doing something drastic.

    Than you all for caring!
     
  11. Bear, I'm glad you're seeing someone for PTSD. There are so many remedies available now!

    Also, forgive my ignorance. What does STBX stand for?
     
  12. Dragonbait

    Dragonbait Guest

    I'll beat him to it, 'cause I got one of them too.
    Soon To Be Ex!

    ETA: although not nearly soon enough!
     
  13. LOL, thanks Dragonbait! It's all coming together now. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  14. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    I saw my regular shrink today. She said that I'm pretty normal considering all that is going on. She also prepared me for the emotions that I'll be going through in the next couple of weeks. I'm actually feeling pretty okay tonight. Not great, but okay. We'll see what tomorrow brings.