1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Moved Out Today

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Bear101, Oct 27, 2013.

  1. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    I moved out of the house today. Life is SO much better already. My family really rallied behind me and came this morning. It took about 3 hours to finish packing and about 30 minutes to get it into my aunt's & mom's basement. I've got a LOT of unpacking to do, but I'm already feeling the stress bleed off.

    There's a couple of snafu's. My mom accidentally unplugged the wireless router and brought the plug with us. STBX went ape shit over that one. STBX also complained that we didn't vacuum the rug in the office well enough (honestly, my mom was just too damn tired to keep doing it).

    After the moving was done, we sat around, had lunch, and just enjoyed life. Everyone was laughing and carrying on. My daughter was with me and really, really enjoyed herself.

    After everyone had left, daughter walked into the extra bedroom and then came into my room. She said, "Now that we have you moved in, when can we move me in. <pause> Just kidding." I know that she wasn't kidding, but she would really like to move in with me. But until I have a job and my own apartment, I can't even begin to think about that.

    Anyway, it was really, really good to laugh and enjoy myself today. Yes, there were a LOT of tears. But there were people to help wipe them away and remind me that yes, I am loved.

    Wanted to share and thank everyone for your support!
     
  2. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is where family really makes a difference, in the good times and the bad.

    I recently sent hand-written thank you notes to each family member and friend who has helped me through these challenging times and for accepting me as I am. I got messages back already from them stating how much they appreciated getting the note. It really means a lot to write it down and to let people know how much they are loved and appreciated.

    Best of luck, you haven't seemed this happy in a long time!
     
    #2 greatwhale, Oct 27, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2013
  3. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Greatwhale. It was hard, don't get me wrong. I had multiple breakdowns where I just started crying. But it's a completely different feeling down here. They got together and explained the rules to me. They're extremely simple. Last one to bed turns off the TV and locks the door. if you want something in the fridge, go ahead and eat it. And if the phone rings, answer it. Other than that, there aren't any rules, lol.

    Tonight, I opened a bottle of pop and it exploded. I immediately cleaned it up and was upset because I couldn't get it cleaned up very well. My aunt looked at it and said, "Don't worry about it. We're going to rent a rug shampooer in a month or two. It's no big deal." Back home, it would be a 20 minute ordeal complete with the nasty looks and the rude comments. So, so thankful to be under grace again.
     
  4. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There is no better way to put it!

    (We're all "headin' to Graceland")
     
  5. Spaceman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2013
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    USA
    Congratulations Bear. Glad you're getting support and finding reasons to laugh. My kids spent the night at my apartment last night for the first time since I moved out (was kicked out actually) and we had a great weekend together. It was real fuel for the soul.
     
  6. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Bear101- (*hug*)
    Bear/gw/spaceman (&&&)
     
  7. HopeFloats

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2013
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    US
    A room of one's own : ) Even though the process was hard, I'm so happy for you that you did it and can now breathe.
     
  8. palimpsest

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vermont
    Bear, I'm so glad that the move was successful and that your family was so supportive. This is one less thing to worry about right now, and just watch, it will take some of the other pressure off. Good luck on the rest of the things you've got to get done so that your life can take off full steam on your new journey in life.
     
  9. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Thanks everyone. I'm still in a bit of a state of befuddlement. It's going to take awhile to learn to relax again. I also can't find my toothbrush, but I think I'm narrowing down which box it's in, lol.
     
  10. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hope you found it! (*hug*)
     
  11. Cool Bananas

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Brisbane, but I seem to fly as much as superman
    Thanks for the update Bear,

    It is great you have family who you can stay with why you figure yourself out and hopefully find yourself a job.

    Its seems like the relationship with the wife was breaking down in other areas and the fact that you gay just complicates things.

    I hope you find the toothbrush that way your breathe will smell ok when you find someone you want to kiss.
     
  12. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Thanks everyone. I did find my toothbrush, but can't find the toothpaste. So, today, I bought some new toothpaste.

    I'm really, really down tonight. Not sure why. My shrink today said I'm doing well, but tonight I'm not feeling it. Hope tomorrow, after a good nights sleep, I'll be better.
     
  13. bingostring

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Get some good sleep ... and tomorrow you will feel stronger
    (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*):sleep:
     
  14. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Did you ever see Shawshank Resemption? You know that scene when the guy gets out of prison and he can't figure out what to do with himself? That's what I feel like. I'm so used to here being a TON of rules (both written and unwritten) that I'm freaking out a bit. I'm kinda struggling with worrying if my mom and aunt are judging what I'm doing or not doing. But I'm beginning to think they actually might not care, lol.
     
  15. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's like the story of the elephant who's been shackled so long to a post that after a while they can safely remove it; the elephant won't escape even if he can. You're still in the mindset that you must "behave"...I had to make a conscious decision that I will not fall for that guilt-trip anymore!

    You're experiencing the vertigo of freedom: enjoy the ride!
     
  16. biggayguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Bear, that is great news that you have your own place! It sounds like you just need to go out somewhere and unwind. Do something fun. Meet a friend for lunch. Go shopping. Maybe talk to a new neighbor.
     
  17. Bear101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western PA
    Thanks everyone! I don't have my own place yet. I'm living with my mom & aunt, but it's a hell of a lot better than where I was.

    After a week, I'm finally starting to relax a bit. Things aren't perfect, but it's going well, that's for sure!