Living a powerful life

Hello Friends...

its been a while since I posted. I finally got my house on the market and kind of assumed it would take months and months to sell. it sold in 3 days. The last 5 weeks have been scrambling to get the house ready to close, pack, find a new place. That last thing -- finding a new place to live has been brutal. Multiple places lost (offers not accepted, owners flaked out/etc.). I finally rented a house. Not perfect, but it doesn't need to be. It'll be home for the next year.

And quite frankly, I can't wait to see what the NEXT year brings! During this time I also did a men's weekend, with the mankind project, that was totally amazing. be glad to chat more about that on my wall.

I've been in a relationship (exact nature to be defined), for many months now. What I have with him is truly the most amazing intimacy I've ever had with another human being. Emotionally, soulfully, physically, sexually. When we're together time flies - sometimes we hardly sleep we enjoy each other so much. Now the complicated part -- its open and we have not said the "love" word.

I know now that each of us is just way too early in our coming out year and ending previous relationships to just jump into a long term relationship. Sometimes I feel I want more. Other times I get that I'm just not ready.

Last night went to see my parents, who are in their 80's, for dinner with my son. After dinner we sat down to talk, and I told them just how very much I thank them for all their support, love, and acceptance. Dad was ok after I told them I'm gay, Mom was clearly processing and not dealing. They have come so far -- I love them so much for what they've given me this year. I told them I have never, ever, been happier.

And I get, that me taking that step to let them into my life, my full, whole authentic life as a gay man, created the space for the relationship we have.

I had so much pain, fear, and anxiety earlier this year. I hardly knew myself. I just want to say -- sit with it. Take it in. Accept that's what you're going through. And then get the support you need from friends, your shrink, your family, groups at your local LGBTQ center... Whatever you're doing -- don't go it alone.

And then start living -- there will be heartaches, there will be joy.

Hugs,

Pete

My shrink is ready to show me the door. Wants me to just live and do it! Scares the crap out of me, though. But yeah, I am pretty ready to not hold on any more.