1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Because of his Job

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dare2bProud, Nov 13, 2013.

  1. Dare2bProud

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    In July I started attending a new church in my new city, the minister himself is gay. We started talking a lot and after five months he told me we could not be friends anymore because of his job. I was and am still very hurt about this. Him and I had some heated exchanges via email and communication finally ceased (the communication was not going anywhere. It was very much closed. My side, his side, me defending and silence). I can't stop thinking about him now. He was the first person I met in my new city and by talking to me daily I really felt hopeful. Now I am feeling very hopeless. I am not sure what made him turn all of a sudden. I'm not sure where I should go from here.

    Thank you for listening.
     
  2. PeteNJ

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2012
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    NJ
    You'll only know by asking him, but perhaps you already have an idea.

    Was the friendship possibly becoming more? Does he have a partner? Is he out in his church?

    I'm sorry you lost this friend.

    Hugs / Pete
     
  3. apostrophied

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2013
    Messages:
    969
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal, Canada
    I think maybe he means that he can't be close friends with one of his congregants, as it could be seen as some sort of favoritism towards you and wouldn't be fair to everyone else. However, since you were already friends for five months and he ended the friendship pretty abruptly, I'm thinking PeteNJ might have a very good point about him possibly falling for you and breaking it off because of that.

    Either way, I understand why this is so hard for you, and I am very sorry this happened to you. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but it will eventually get better. In the meantime, try to build friendships with people with whom there won't be any conflict of interests (if you can call it like that) to try and distract you from this painful loss.

    *hugs*
     
  4. flatlander48

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cathedral City, CA
    Life moves on. The only thing we can do is move forward with it. That doesn't mean it is easy, but it is what has to be done. In the same way that you can't unring a bell, you cannot undo the past. As painful as it is, choices have been made and it is time to move forward.