need to do a lot of work here

Im sick and tired of hiding to those who are important to me. Today I have decided to make a way for my self to quit living a lie. It wont be a surprise to my wife that I am gay, she has questioned my attraction to playgirl magazine and to a penchant to female clothing. Unfortunately I cannot give her an honest answer at this time. That is why Im here. to glean the experience of others. I have some what of a plan to help me get the balls to tell her who I am but Need to execute it. Coming here will help me with self acceptance. I will tell her I am seeking help at local support groups to find my self. Oh doesnt that all sound so easy ..(lol) The reality is that I know what I am, it is just a way of helping me cope with breaking the news to her and also a way to help soften the blow. (cchyeah)
I have already tried the having a boy friend on the side on but that didn't work out to well as I could not get enough of my boyfriend and felt all the guilt that an affair would bring let alone a gay one. Hope to meet some new friends here to help me with my way out.