So when I left the house, I took boxes of photographs, going back more than 20 years. She wanted me to leave all the albums I made. Well I took 95% of the pictures! organized them! made the albums so I decided, "fuck, she wants the albums, I'm taking the pictures and negatives". Well what a treasure trove! Firstly there are doubles of almost every picture that is in an album. And there are tons of great pictures we never used. But, the best part is realizing that I'm a great dad. Thousands of pictures of me playing with both kids, in the water at the beach, in pools, on the playground, amusement parks, hiking, horseback riding, kayaking, canoeing, biking. Every birthday party has pictures. All the sports events are chronicled. There are all the class pictures, sports portraits, etc. It made me feel great to have all of this and relive these moments. It was healing, validating. And, one of my fears was that the kids would not want to be with me now. Nah, they are so bonded with me.
Good for you for taking them, it's so easy for spouses to discount the contributions of the other spouse, especially when there is conflict. Men's contributions to the household and the family, let's face it, are often either not noticed or validated... If it takes photographic proof to remind yourself what are worth to your kids, so be it. Wish it weren't that way...
In my heart I know but I have been feeling seriously unwanted, rejected, denigrated. So, the pictures were such a lift. All the good came flooding back.
Hi there! Your post made me smile. It is great that having the pictures and going through them made you realize that you were a great dad and where there for your children, and that you feel that there is strong bond between you and your children. I'm pretty sure that you will always be wanted by your children. I hope you will get plenty of more opportunities to continue to add to the collection of pictures. (*hug*)
What a great story. It sounds trite, but our kids are our greatest achievements. Whatever else may be wrong in your life, you got the big one right.
