1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Came out to my Girlfriend as Gay tonight

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by ClosetedFather, Nov 23, 2013.

  1. ClosetedFather

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2012
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    2 months ago I came out to my Girlfriend as "attracted to men". I have always considered myself bisexual. She has been great and very supportive however that tension inside of my did not leave. I suppose I wanted to come out and relieve myself of the tension that had been building for the past 4 years we were together. Instead I felt more and more like I was gay with every passing day. Last week we decided to go thru the holidays and revisit our relationship then and decide if we could give each other everything that the other needed. Well today we had a really rough day. We were argued a bunch and I could see she was in pain. Tonight I told her how I have been feeling. She looked at me and said "Your gay, your gay" and with that we both new it was over and the tears began to roll. I tried to comfort her but understandably she asked me to leave.

    So there it is. My relationship is over. "I am Gay" perhaps not totally but close enough.

    She just came in the room to ask me a question about tomorrow. When she left she gave me her fist and asked me to pound it. She is something else, a wonderful woman. I know she is grieving the loss of her relationship but still takes that gesture to say to me that we will be ok. She wants to live together and raise our kid together(for now). I can't ask for more.
     
  2. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    We're here for you in the coming days, keep posting, you've got a wonderful friend in her, cherish that and thank your good fortune!

    Things could have been far worse.
     
  3. Spaceman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2013
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    USA
    Congratulations never feels exactly right in this situation, but it's the best word I can think of. It's bittersweet with the loss of the life you imagined together and the promise of the life you were meant to lead. So happy for you that she's taking it well, which isn't always the case (speak from experience on that one). So congratulations to you CF!
     
  4. palimpsest

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vermont
    CF, gay enough for now is a completely honest and acceptable place to be. I know this has been a real struggle for you. I hope that some of your tension has been put to rest. Do not let yourself get isolated! GW is right, keep talking. We are right here with you. I am also glad that you two are able to talk about this without total destruction. Give her some room, don't take anything too personally as she works this out for herself. Grief is a wicked beast.