Just a general question in hopes of getting some advice. I have been out dating now for about 7 months, and have found that all of my encounters with other men have been incredibly awkward. I never thought it would be so dificult to find someone. I feel out of place out of my comfort zone. I find when I am out with other gay men that I am a bit of an odd ball. Im not too sure what my problem is I have tried to loosen up (not be so hyper masculine) but I dont want to sacrifice who I am for the sake of fitting in. Has anyone felt like this? If so how did you get past it? Im too old for this.... My ex wife even says that she sees a difference in my demeanor when she tags along with me at a gay bar/club.... This old dog needs to learn some new tricks. Jae
if you're naturally a hyper masculine person, you shouldn't feel as if you have to tone that down. i think you've already kind of identified what you're feeling: just a general awkwardness at being outside your comfort zone. i think it's one of those things that you can't really get to go away overnight; the more you get used to doing things out of your comfort zone the awkwardness will fade. once you begin to feel more comfortable, i think you may have more luck since a lot of people are attracted to a sort of confidence
Can I suggest not taking the ex along to critique your style? That might take some of the awkward pressure off right there. Nothing like an audience to make you feel self-conscious! Next time, leave the ex behind and just be and do whatever comes naturally.
