For those who have conceived using a sperm donor. Do you find that your children eventually wanted to gather more information or meet up with their sperm donor?
My 17 year old was interested in finding out. He always knew how he was created, and so we talked about it when he was about 15. He said he thought it would be interesting to find out who the other kids conceived by his biological donor were. We joined a site that hooks them up just recently, (he's 17 now), and we found another boy a few states away. My son is one of 10 children by this donor. You can't get anymore of his Semen due to this. I also know my son is third out of them all, and the oldest except for the donors twin daughters, who were the first two born. It was kinda cool to trade pics, but this other boy does not look much like my son. The same eyes and and forehead, but that is it. I think it is natural for them to wonder, but if they don't, it's not a bad thing either. Some kids are just curious, like some adopted kids want to find out about their bio family, and some are not. I would wait until your child was a teen if you want to do something like this, and get their permission first. If my son would have said no, we would not have done any searching.
Did this new information satisfy his curiosity or did it intrigue him to learn more about his biological donor (if I may ask)? I personally believe that family is much more than biology but I wonder if some children feel that they must have a deep connection with their biological donor. I guess what I'm wondering is if he feels a bit left out by not knowing his "other biological half". I'm just asking only because I'm a lesbian and, even though I have time, I'm just curious about this type of thing. Thank you for the information by the way!
Don't know if this is what spurred your curiosity, but it seemed timely to share since I'd just seen something posted by AfterEllen on FB yesterday regarding this very topic... Breeanna of "Generation Cryo" Talks Family and Growing Up - AfterEllen.com
We were given a folder about his donor, and I kept everything I had about the whole experience and have always shared it with my son. I personally wish the donor would have included a picture of himself as a young man, and I think my son would like to see one as well, but the donor did not. My son says he really has no connection to this biological half, so he really does not think about it much. He also has two sisters he was raised with. not through this donor, so even though they all tease each other about it a bit (My son will look at his sisters doing something silly and say 'don't look at me, I am only half related' to which they all laugh)they are quite bonded. He gets the concept that it is who loves you that is family and who you are raised with. I really think it has a lot to do with HOW you raise your children. You remain open as to how they joined the family and encourage them to see they are a family. I have always told my kids, that they are the only ones in the world to share the same experiences and no one else will ever understand them quite the way their siblings do. Plus, they were all allowed in to the birth and encouraged to hold their new sibling, except for my youngest of course. I encouraged them to count on each other and have never once told them that they are not related just because of a sperm. Please feel free to ask whatever of me, because I had no one to ask and wished I did have someone to reassure me.
Thank you for your help! And Lipstick Leuger, that was VERY helpful. I loved what you wrote and it made me feel very hopeful/encouraged to some day have a family of my own. And I will take you up on the offer whenever I come up with a new question!
