This falls under the, one of those situations I sure wish I had explored further, category. I was sitting in a meeting, next to my girlfriend at the time, I had my arms crossed and I kept feeling something on my right hand. I looked over and it was a cute guy sitting next to me with his arms crossed also and trying to hold my finger with his. Being very naive I rejected the advance and am now wondering why I did that. My guess would be that I was still in denial of my sexuality and was trying to keep my straight guy front up. To make a long story short, I think I might have wanted to react positivity but reacted negativity just to cover my confusion. I know now that if that ever happens again I will react in a much more honest way. Anyone else have this happen to them?
Sailor, this really makes me laugh, because I'm so entirely clueless, the argument could be made that the biggest reason I married the man I did was because he was the only one forward enough to club me over the head and drag me to the altar. If not for him literally 'threatening' about 6 weeks after we met with "You WILL marry me someday", I would have never realized even he liked me that much. But - in answer to your question, I guess I could ask my ex. He has forever enjoyed pointing out all the women that were "just totally checking you out" but can't honestly say I've ever noticed as blatant a clue as you were lucky enough to receive. Wish I was a little more attuned to subtle signals, might make life a whole lot easier now. You know, it's really not easy to tell if a woman is gay or not, at least not the ones I seem to be attracted to!
Don't worry about it, Sailor. We've all had missed opportunities and you will no doubt have others that you can act upon, especially now that you're more aware of the possibilities.
It has happened to me to many times to count truthfully. The first time I realized I missed my opportunity was when I was still in the closet myself. One girl that I liked apparently liked me as well the only reason I knew was because she told me then proceeded to kiss me. Due to the fact that I was confused and still in the closet I reacted horribly in that situation. Finally by the time I had grown the courage to come out and apologize; she was already with another girl.
Thank you to all of you that replied to my post. Guess I to was so far in my closet that I did not recognize something that could have changed my life. I know the next time that happens, now remember I am old and it may never happen again, I will be very open to explore. Hugs to you all...
There was a guy in college who I was sure was gay and he started quizzing me about my romantic life and whether I had a current girlfriend. Being in my bank vault at the time, I didn't give him any opening. Can't help but wonder what might have been.
Now that I'm older, I seem to spend a lot of time wishing that I had done things that I didn't do because I was scared that people would find out I was gay. I pretended not to see a man I'd made love with, when I saw him at a concert the next day, so that he wouldn't come over and expose me to my straight friend. I still dream of him sometimes and when I came out to the friend I was with years later, he didn't seem to care.
Hi Sailorsheart When I was younger and before I was married, when out drinking with my best friend, the same one in the baby oil incident if you have read my other posts, he would often lean across the bar table towards me his lips slightly apart slowly rolling his tong over them in a very sensous way. I found it somewhat off putting at the time, how could I have been so stupid :eusa_doh: my internal homophobia must have been working overtime. Strange thing is that at the time I don’t remember being worried about others may have seen him do that and what they may have been thinking of me. The barmaid, at our regular drinking hole, told me once “your friend is gay, but he hasn’t realised it yet” my reply to her was “I’m sure he knows”. By implication I must have known he was gay, felt comfortable being his best mate, and not caring about others seeing together. Why didn’t the barmaid tell me I was gay but didn’t know it? Sale Gay Guy
DB, spit-take on that one. Or snort-take. I. too, was utterly clueless for much of the time that my wife was doing things like having mysterious car trouble at the store where I was working, and always needing assistance of some kind. It was ridiculously unsubtle, and the fact that I never picked up on it was probably not too surprising, considering that I was insanely naive and also not really, truly interested in girls. I've never had any guys be quite that overt about coming on to me, although my religious education teacher friend may or may not fall into that category, with his eye contact, physical contact, etc. (tempered, of course, by the wife and 4 kids). Now, of course, I am much more capable of recognizing it, but am still completely clueless about what to do next. We went out to dinner with the kids and a friend of my daughter's over the weekend, to a casual place in the area. The waiter was clearly gay (although wife and daughters did not really pick up on it even slightly) and not only were he and I very animated and conversational with each other, he clearly winked at me when we left. I think I have the flirting thing down. It's the follow-up that kind of has me mystified.
Thank you so much for letting me know that I am not alone in missing something good. I agree with the naive part, although I thought I was so cool and debonair. Well I cannot get it right all the time, I would even settle for half the time or even some of the time or even a few times. You get the idea...
