Hey, I need advice, or a telling off or anything really I just need to get this out. I'm totally in love with my husband, I really am. I'm only 21 but we have two children and recently got married. Lifes been hectic as we're both going through university but its a strong relationship. Except I've been massively confused lately. I've always identified as bisexual, never had a problem when it came to telling family and friends. Lately though (over a year now) I've been confused about that part of me. I love my partner but I have only slept with him once since I had my son in january. I dont feel like I want that from him anymore but I know I want that with a female. I feel awful because I chose this path, I chose to live a straight life and marry a man so why am I suddenly feeling like thats not me. I see woman together and it upsets me, pure jealousy that they can have that. I feel so trapped by myself. I want to leave because I want to be the lesbian I know I am, but I dont want to leave because as stupid and unbelievable as it sounds I DO love him. I do.
Welcome to EC, Cupcakesmiles! Nothing is wrong with you. We are all on various stages of the roller coaster ride of discovering our true selves and coming out ! You will find lots of support & awesome folks here!
If it were me I would tell him. I'd say I love you. I'd say at this point in my life I only want sex with women. I'd tell him it's my sexual orientation and there's nothing I can do about it. The two of you will have to decide if you will divorce or not.
If you are in truth a good team and want to raise your children as a couple then there is no reason not to. Your husband already knows you are bisexual and should understand that you can go from bi to gay and back again in a never ending cycle. I can only tell you what I have experienced. I have times when I am more bi than gay and then more gay than bi. Luckily I have a partner, a lady, that understands these swings and it very supportive. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in the future.
Hi. Welcome to EC. I think you should take it slow in terms of making decisions that will impact your whole life and the lives of your children. Your feelings are certainly real but sexuality can be fluid and mutable. If you can, perhaps you should talk to your husband about having some confusion and conflict and needing some time to figure that out. Of course, you may not feel that you can have this conversation with him; maybe he would be angry, hurt, closed off, etc. Also, if you're at a university, perhaps you can find a support group or go to the counseling center to explore your thoughts and feelings about your sexuality and your next steps. Loving the father of your children is a good thing even if you decide not to stay together
