Is It Possible

Well, the post-ejaculation blues are not an uncommon phenomenon, add in dash of internalized homophobia, self-disgust and you come to the conclusion that you're straight immediately after...until the next time when your really, really, really...

One of the definitions of homosexuality is persistent attractions/arousals from the same sex, by that definition you may indeed wonder what your orientation is.

Nevertheless, no one here can or should tell you if you are gay, the best we can or should do is provide you with our own experiences and see if any of it matches yours. You will have some work to do to figure this out, but a good dose of honesty goes a long way.

Porn is NOT a good indicator of your orientation, nor is experimenting with a guy, however, masturbatory fantasies are a good indicator: notice what you think about when you're doing it, and check how aroused you get when thinking about men vs. thinking about women...try to detect a pattern and see how it goes.

 

lostinlife, I have to agree with greatwhale. When I first discovered my attraction to men I had the same post-ejaculation blues and would feel disgusted and would tell myself never again. But it was just my internalized homophobia kicking in, because give me a day or two and I was right back fantasizing about men.

When I finally started having sex with men, the same thing would happen, and I would feel guilty and ashamed, swearing each time was the last time. But, I continued coming back to men over and over, finally admitting to myself that I preferred men to women and was indeed gay.

The last three years have been a struggle coming to terms with my sexuality. But after spending a lot of money on books about being gay, working with a therapist for the last six months and spending a lot of time here reading others experiences I’ve come to embrace being gay. In fact I came out to my ex-wife last Friday, she was very supportive and I’m feeling much better about myself.

But as greatwhale suggested, only you can decide if you’re gay. This is your life, take as long as it takes, be honest with yourself and don’t let anyone pressure you.

Good luck in your journey…

 

I am looking at this and I wonder here

I don't know about anyone else - sounds classic bisexual to me

you get to decide you own orientation of course, I never invalidate anyone - but if you like being with womyn all the way - and are not in denial ( I mean you are not forcing yourself to be with them just to hide being with men)

then this is Bi

why not embrace it?

 

Labels (such as gay/straight/bi) are over-rated. A lot of people aren't exclusively straight or gay. In fact, I think that were it not for the stigma surrounding being gay, that a lot of guys would be more willing to acknowledge attractions to / experiences with other guys.

I'd recommend ditching the labels, or accepting a "bi" orientation (if you are attracted to both women and men). The reality is more complex in that sexuality is fluid. I'm with a guy who identifies as "gay," but who has had a previous relationship with a woman (and had a child in that relationship). That makes him more "bi" than me, but his attractions to men are sincere. Labels express an idea, but are limiting.

I know some gay guys are biphobic, but they're not worth your time. Sexual orientation is a continuum, and there is a lot of room between "completely straight" and "exclusively gay." While I know I am 98.44% attracted to other men, that doesn't mean that bi guys are insincere in their feelings (when they like a guy). I truly believe it is possible to see the hotness in everyone (though I mostly notice that in guys).

Ideas are useful to understand the world, but becoming more attached to an idea than reality is deadly. Always keep room in your mind for exceptions, as the world will always challenge our ability to understand it...