Well, it’s been a few days since telling my ex I’m gay and it’s amazing the difference it has made. In some ways it’s feels as if nothing has changed and everything seems the same. But then I realize I’m not feeling nearly as stressed and I’m smiling a lot more. I feel that consciously I’ve been ok with being gay for quite a while, but unconsciously I’ve still struggled with it. Now it’s like her acceptance has allowed me to finally unconsciously feel it’s ok to be gay, and it feels great. I’m finding I just feel better about myself and am actually looking forward to telling my sons and family. One small hiccup in telling my sons, I was hoping to tell them when I was down for Christmas. But my ex called this morning to tell me she had forgotten that she was heading out of town December 28th, not returning until January 5th. We both feel she should be available for them to talk to after I tell our sons, so we agreed that I should postpone telling them until after she gets back in January. Looking forward to talking with my therapist tomorrow.
That's really inspiring. I have thought about telling my ex. I've already told his brother and sister in law. But my ex has some mental health and addiction issues. I'm just not sure what to do about telling him. It's good to hear that it went so well for you.
I am glad your ex is supportive. It will make it so much easier for your kids. You may reatin them as a friend also at some point.
My ex was pissed off when I told her I was gay. She said " Well, it took you long enough to figure that out." We haven't spoken since. She hung up when I tried to call her. I guess I can't blame her We had planned to be married.
Hope, I feel extremely lucky, I kind of expected her to be ok with it, but you never know, sometimes you’ve just got to put yourself out there. It sounds like you have made some progress tell your ex’s brother and sister-in-law, but if your ex has addiction and mental health issues take your time, your safety comes first. Lipstick, I feel very lucky to be able to call my ex a good friend, and having her support has already made a difference in the stress I’ve been dealing with over the last 4-5 years. We’ve talked about me telling our sons, and both feel they will be ok with it. They are 27 & 30 and I have a younger sister who has been out since they were in grade school, and she is probably their favorite aunt on my side of the family. Biggayguy, my ex and I have been divorced for ten years, and as I said above we are very good friends and I kind of expected her to be ok with it. Also, she has been seeing another man for 7-8 years, we’ve met and get along fine, and they seem to have a very good relationship, so that probably makes a difference also.
