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Support hearing today

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Bear101, Dec 10, 2013.

  1. Bear101

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    We had the support hearing today. It's truly the hardest thing I've ever had to do (except burying my sister). I hate having to go to court and beg to have enough money for gas so I can see my kid. I loved being a stay-at-home dad, but it has really, really messed with my head something bad.

    There was no result today. They went over all the numbers and then they made their offer. It was incredibly low. It's double than what she's been giving me, but the computer said she should be giving me 7 1/2 times what she's been giving me. My attorney basically countered with what the computer said and she blew a gasket. The attorneys are going to talk more over the next 2 days. If they can't agree to something, then the adjudicator makes her recommendation to the judge.

    I'm so tired of this stuff. I just want it to be over.

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. greatwhale

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    I feel for you as I am in the same situation. Trust me, they are counting on you giving up because you want it to be over (so do I) but don't. Just don't let yourself get railroaded!

    Best of luck!
     
  3. palimpsest

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    Hang in there Bear, I am not to this stage yet, but i know it is coming soon. I do understand the want of things to just normalize and for life to move on. The great desire to just move on. I also was, albeit for a short time, a stay at home dad when we were still in St Louis. It was hard to reengage in the momentum of life at first, to be back out in the world (both because I lost time with my kids and because the world and my family function in such different ways).

    Just take it all one day at a time. And thanks for sharing.
     
  4. Bear101

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    I'm doing better today. Now, I'm feeling validated. I'm feeling like someone (i.e. the court system) is recognizing what I did to make the marriage work. I know it's solved yet, but I am feeling better!
     
  5. OneSpirit

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    Glad you are feeling better. I can relate to the "hardest thing you've ever done" part. The court process -although I was lucky and had a supportive ex-spouse, was excruciating.
    Feel like I am just making it through to the other side of things and it was finalized weeks ago. The good part? Making it through left me with an "I can do/make it through ANYTHING" feeling. Hope it is that way with you as well.
     
  6. arturoenrico

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    Bear, it sounds rough; things are already so bad with my wife, I dread the next steps like divorce, settlement. I'm sending support your way (&&&)(&&&) Hopefully the court will be just.
     
  7. Bear101

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    The lawyers got together and came up with an amount. I am SO thankful that this part is over. I slept for 11 1/2 hours last night. i think the stress has been catching up to me!
     
  8. Chip

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    Wow, that's got to be a huge relief. I'm really happy to hear it's over and hopefully the number they arrived at is one that you and your ex-spouse can both live with.

    Stress affects us in so many more ways than most of us realize, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. It's great (and important to your overall health) to take time to sleep, but also to relax and do silly, unstructured things... "laughter, song and dance" as Brené Brown says. :slight_smile: