I'm 30, but most people think I'm 25, which I will take as a HUGE compliment. Lately I have been conflicted over dating sites. I feel as if I contact people who I find are very attractive and interesting only to get no response back. It really does a lot to my self esteem. I have never been in a serious relationship at the age of 30 and I'm starting to feel as if I'm unworthy or not capable of love. Perhaps I'm saying all the wrong things to open a conversation or perhaps my picture is not the best. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I was talking to some of my coworkers, several of them keep telling me how cute I am and that they would date me if I was straight. Even at work when customers come in I get checked out and I get checked out in public. I must not be THAT unattractive, but still all my dating site profiles are barren deserts of no communication or progress.
People on dating websites can be quite picky, since it is very easy and convenient for them to simply scan a profile for relevant pictures and then move on. It is almost like shopping for some of these people. Though beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the "hottest" people on these site get a ton of messages, while the rest are simply sitting around clamoring for attention. Now, this is a bit of an exaggeration I will admit, but this is essentially what is going on at some level. My opinion is that even if you are genuinely attractive, online dating is more like online shopping and can be a bit more difficult (sometimes) than forming an organic relationship in person first. Don't give up though, it is generally a positive experience eventually for a lot of people. There's likely nothing wrong with you. I've been in a relationship for over two years now, and it all started with a website
What ezkill said. Most visitors are just window shopping for "hot" pictures. If it is a "pay to play" site, the only semi-serious visitors are likely the ones with paid memberships. The people who post there for free are not likely to very seriously looking, just posting a picture for free so they can look for free. We don't know what you look like, so we can't comment on your appearance, but if you have a pulse, there is someone out there for you. Just don't expect too much of an online dating site, particularly one like craigslist, which has more flakes on it than Kelloggs has corn flakes. Since the people around you seem to think positively about you, maybe finding a date in the real world locations rather than online would work better for you.
I have had a very similar experience in dating sites, I am pretty sure I am at least not hideous, I know some find me attractive still men come on to me all the freaking time and some womyn even IRL. but on dating sites all I have ever found are people who have attempted to scam me for money. Not one has ended up in a real date - I have tried free AND pay. the ones with paragraphs and the ones filled with all sorts of questions to answer.
For the most part I found dating sites a waste of time. Lots of people to lead you on and not show up to meet. In saying that it took me 2 years to find a guy that is special to me we hada relationship for a couple of years and are still great friends , for that i am so grateful. If you are young and goodlooking you may find someone outside a dating site. Personally I wont use them any more
I personally don't know how to meet people except online. So dating sites work for me. Somewhat. I figure if someone replies back, you talk to them, and if not you let them go. People especially at older ages get really picky on dating sites... I think a lot of people might just like the chase.
I've only ever met one person on dating site that I genuinely feel could be "The One", And that was after MONTHS of getting sexually motivated messages, And messaging many people who turned out to be duds in the head! Dating online, Like in real life is hard, There are only SO many people who will happen to fit your needs, And who are able to cater to your insecurities and strengths! Also as has been mentioned above, People are picky as hell online, Just as you might be as you're only for those you find "really attractive", They do this as there is no repercussions of rejecting someone, Seeing as you're "protected", Don't take it personally though, Happens to everyone! Good luck, And I'd say keep the door open, But don't depend on it to make you happy, There's only SO much that a relationship can give you before you realize you're the only one who can keep yourself happy and content! Best of luck
Ive had fun dates and short term relationships from dating sites... and honestly, its a truly great way to get into dating. Hones your skills with meeting people, making conversation, talking about myself, getting ready for a date, etc. There was a lot more anxiety, uncertainty, etc. with dates 1 - 3 vs #10! Some personal "rules" -- that yes, I've broken them more than a few times ;-) 1) make that first date super simple (coffee, wine, drink) - with the option for more (dinner, walk, etc.) 2) trust your gut, not your needs for being physical/having sex, if its not right, say so, and don't make it more than coffee or 1 glass of wine. 3) don't make date #2 just to have a date and be with someone. for there to be a relationship possibility you really have to feel in your heart/ gut/ loins that s/he would be super to spend more time with 4) getting physical and sex... if it happens on date 1, well enjoy it. but no matter how good that was, good or bad sex is no indicator of relationship potential (and yes, this sure complicates rule 3 if there's a physical attraction but otherwise s/he is a dud) 5) whether you pick the place/venue/agenda for the date or the other person does, make it fun for yourself. you'll have a good time. you'll be more attractive to the other person ok -- that's enough of that! go ahead-- sign up -- date a few people. may or may not lead to a relationship -- so what -- you've had a few nights out, had a few laughs (either with the other person or afterwards laughing at him/her or yourself ;-) ) be on the journey!
Tell you what - I'm on lots of dating sites and apps. Private Message me a site, and your username and I might be able to give you some hints. (Note: My last two long term relationships were with guys I met online - so dating and finding a relationship online is absolutely doable.) ---------- Post added 19th Dec 2013 at 09:02 PM ---------- Brilliant advice (but you knew that didn't you?)
Being careful with online dating sites is paramount. Most of the points made here are ones that I have also had. There are lots of lurkers that will tell you anything just for their own thrills and then do nothing. Being left waiting someplace at a meeting site is not uncommon. It seems like playing with other peoples emotions is an online game and there are lots of players. Wish it were not that way however it is.
Hi, Re-read your post and make a list of the general topics you wrote about. When (IF) I go to a dating site appearance matters but I look at "longest relationship" first and weight it heavily. What are the odds that a 35-40 year old who's longest relationship <3 years has good relationship skills. I am 55 and I do not fool around or have time teaching relationship skills, or sweating about how attractive people are. Looks-wise... Time throws all of us under the bus. What counts is inside. Tom
While this has not been my experience, up until 6 months ago that is, now I'm now more inclined to agree with you!. Sadly, some are not ready for 'big boy' sex yet I guess :/
Been there, done that. Yeah, I've been played a couple of times, showing up somewhere and no meeting, quite the perfectly cruel little game...
I have used 3, nothing serious has come out of it at the moment but met some guys and had a bit of fun and got to learn about new things. One will probably be a good friend for years to come not as a relationship but as a good friend. I would agree with PeteNJ, sign up get some practice, you might even have some fun along the way. You never know until you sign up and have a look. Online is now such a big part of our lives that why wouldn't you use some help along the way. You will generally make new friends or learn something new, online dating really doesn't have the same negative stigma that it had say 10 years ago. My brother used online dating met a girl that was best friends at school with the sister of someone he worked with, it just helps to have another connection.
this isnt a dating site dont share user names or sites.or seek peoples info you have been told before aye .
