I love Christmas. I love the smells, the laughter, the sights and the music. I even love the shopping. I love all of these things, I just don't love them this year. I can't find my Christmas spirit. I have listened to music, I've bought presents I have even gone to church services, and nothing....I have felt nothing. I spent Christmas Eve serving food at a community luncheon and left that experience feeling jaded and hardened. What is wrong with me? And then it hit me..that's it! I have spent so many years asking myself that question, "What is wrong with me"! For so long I have looked at my life and beat myself up for not being happy. There are still a lot of things "wrong' with me but I am working on them one at a time. Losing weight, rebuilding a career, building new friendships, but this Christmas, I'm me, and I don't know know how that feels....I'm lonely, I miss my family, but I finally know what's wrong with me....nothing. I am good man, wholly created and loved...and so are you! And there it is! I am learning to walk again. I am learning to feel again. I am learning what Christmas means all over again. My life has changed so why shouldn't I expect that my perspective would change to? Has yours? I truly wish that we could all be together and share a meal or have a drink. Thank you!
When I was in the middle of your post, I wanted to tell you that there was nothing wrong with you. Enjoy the holidays, and if you don't feel merry and ecstatic, that's fine too (((hug)))
Well then, I shall raise a metaphorical glass: Cheers to you and best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Thank you for sharing this — the sentiment and timing of your message were both perfect. Cheers to you as well!
I know I don't miss the awkward family Xmas stuff, being the single one at events that seem to glorify the ability to pair up (whether it's a disfunctional couple doesn't matter) and spawn grandkids, the judgmental teenage nieces constantly poking about the absence of a girlfriend, etc... Sometimes it's better to be alone than with the wrong people. Yup... Bah! Humbug! (with exclamation marks as noted in another thread) Looking forward to meeting with friends over the next few days (once the "family of origin" celebrations are over) and having a good time nevertheless...
There is nothing wrong with you at all. We all question ourselves from time to time. What we really do well is to adjust and adapt to the current situation. You're fine just remember that and let the rest of it take care of it's self.
