Hi guys, I've just got home from staying with a few friends for New Year's Eve. None of our friends know about me being out to my wife. When 12 o'clock arrived we all hugged each other and wished happy new year. I literally put on a brave face and went with the celebrations. The truth was, I felt very sad about my life and the future. A few days ago, I agreed with my wife that we would have a 'trial separation'... this will involve me moving out into an apartment. So.... In terms of happy new year.... I really need and want to be positive. I have started a process of self discovery and moving toward living in integrity. I have a long way to go and parts of the journey scare the hell out of me. But I must continue... small steps in the right direction. This may be a tough year, and at times much sadness, guilt, heartache etc will be felt. But... I am doing this for a reason. I cannot continue living a lie. I must be honest and head towards a happier life, for me and my family. Happy new year guys!
Bigeagle, I chose to go to bed early last night, I too didn't feel like celebrating what I'll be facing in the coming year. I'll be telling my wife in a few days, I'm not looking forward to it, but I know it must be done. But, this part is temporary, and necessary for us to start the path to who we really are. When you think about it from the big picture, it is a great new year... this year is the beginning of a brand new life for you! Continue to be strong, and focus on the big picture. The drama and short term hardships will be a blip on the radar in the long term. Happy New Year!
Thanks D43054, Thanks for your comment. Yes, I must remember the big picture / the end goal. This is a tough and often painful process but it really is the only honest thing to do. I don't know if I'm truelly gay or bi but I know I'm not straight. Being married and living with my wife is not what I need. It has many good things but something is definitely missing. I might not ever find what is missing but at least by searching, I have a chance! HNY
Perhaps telling your friends should be your next step. It's hard for friends to be supportive if they don't know they need to offer support. Lex
I see my shrink and my vicar tomorrow...final discussions before coming out to my wife...we met new year's eve 26 yrs. ago...thought I'd do it sometime after 12th Night...I think that you're right...this new year will be filled with challenges and more than a few joys...seems as if a lot of people have the same plans for coming out to their wives...bigeagle, congratulations on your brave choice...you should be proud...D43054...you'll be in my prayers...we'll all get through this somehow.:eusa_danc
