Hi everyone I'm a 37 year old crossdresser I'm sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to women. only like porn tho as don't seem to be attracted to anyone in real life. Got no idea about my sexuality starting wonder if I have asexuality. Please help xxx
"if I have asexuality" This might seem like I'm just looking for fault, but you can't HAVE asexuality, it's not a disease. Out of interest, when you are dressed, do you feel attraction to anyone?
Are you a gay, male, cross dresser who simply has not risked having sex for fear of rejection? If you are masturbating to gay porn I doubt you are asexual. Your age does not matter. Lots of guys live in fear and denial. Keep posting, get it all out. The more honest here the better folks can help and your real world may change, Tom
I don't know what I want. Would like to know what it is that I do suffer from. Yes I do feel extremely attracted to men when dressed up to the point I'm convinced I'm gay. But its only porn not real life. It doesn't happen very often anyway. Really don't know what I want I hate feeling like this its horrible. Think Im gona be on my own forever can't see how this is ever gonna chnge. Dunno bout the fear of rejection thing u mentioned. Got me thinkin. Xxx
I feel the same in not knowing what I want. I think personally labelling yourself is really wrong. Just go with what you like at the time and embrace it.
But I don't know what I like that's the whole problem. Feel like I need a label as somethin is wrong. I'd be someone by now otherwise. Sorry I'm only bein honest about how I feel ---------- Post added 17th Jan 2014 at 07:59 PM ---------- I don't want to do nothin. I just want to feel somethin it just don't happen in real life :-(
It sounds to me like you are struggling to acknowledge things due to feelings of shame. That would explain not being able to make sense of what is going on for you. Hence you talking about something being "wrong". I still don't fully happily sit with my sexuality, but I have found that the more I just go with it, and be honest with myself, the easier it is for me to more fully engage with, and understand, my feelings. Btw, although it might not help everyone, I personally found some lesbian porn (made for lesbians) helpful in allowing me to feel comfortable with same sex sexual feelings in a safe private way, before allowing myself to feel more comfortable with sexual attraction with people in real life. Plus, as time has gone on, my same sex romantic attraction has grown as I feel more comfortable with integrating romance, love and sexuality. (Not only do we get taught we have to have different sex attraction, but that we have get married to the other sex, as well.)
fear of rejection might be it. You could go away for awhile to where no one knows you ( you'll never see these people again) Just explore your sexuality , and follow where it leads you.
With respect to asexuality, could you give a bit more information about yourself? Have you ever had a sexual relationship with anyone? Males physically, but females romantically? Please expand Have you ever dressed in a public? Sorry if its probing, but I'm curious.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Amen, Brother skiff! (shameless religious jab ... Sorry!) He's right though. I came here a few weeks ago figuring myself a "tomboyish demigirl" ... Went through a full-on MtF Transsexual stage, finding out now that my internal gender has always been female but I have the wrong parts. SOOOOO ... I just kinda roll with it. I wear misses clothes, but it'd the guy clothes that make me feel like I'm cross dressing. As several here know, I was outed at work. A nasty little rumor that I was being divorced b/c I was TAKING estrogen and wanted to grow boobs. I initiated an investigation with my HR and am satisfied satisfied. Decided to own the story and correct it if asked. And, thanks to these fine fellow-queers here (love ya all! (!)) I'm actually able to dress and just be more me, the me I denied since childhood.
Thanks for all the messages guys. Do n't think I got asexuality, probs just lying to myself about my homosexuality. Purplefrog yes I think I need to look at gay porn more. I don't dress up in public not really ready for that.fantasized about having breasts well so really don't know where things go from here. Need to meet someone and fast. Wheres the best place to go? Someone suggested tumblr but I can't get in somethin wrong with Iu plus think its American and I'm from UK. Any suggestions would be helpful . Xxx
Ummm... I would not dive into the shallow end of the pool. Having sex to discern your sexuality is like having a baby to save a relationship. Understand yourself first. I am gay and married a woman in hopes of finding a solution. Learn from my mistake.
Thanks hun but tbh if I wait until I understand myself I will die first seriously. I'm 37 and still no closer to working myself than I was 10 years ago. I'm probs the worst person on this site tbh. Self esteem is absolute rock bottom atm I hate myself so much xx
