I have made huge progress these past 12 months going to LGBT groups in my home town and in London and talking to people on this site. I have met some lovely people and made some good friends and felt a lot more accepting of myself as being gay. I still feel very depressed that I am still alone, have never had sex and the last time I kissed anyone was 7 years ago. I am pleased that I've come out to friends and people at work and that I have met some gay people. I just want to take the next step as I feel worried that I will be alone forever and never find a nice woman to settle down with. The groups in my home town have a lot of men going to them who are all very nice but isn't helpful to me to find a girlfriend. I try to focus on the positives but it is hard. I'm lucky that my employer has an in house counselling service that I am able to use once a week for free. I am talking to a very understanding woman who is helping me make some important decisions with my life. I'm just very very ready to take the next step with my life and am struggling with how to do this.
You should be very proud of yourself for the progress you've made thus far because it is very difficult making that first step. So, congratulations (*hug*) Now, comes the dating phase, which isn't actually easy. I mean, love is hard to find no matter what, and due to the invisibility of LGBT in my area, dating can be discouraging. However, I am lucky enough to have a gay bar/club down the street from me. Although, I've only been a couple of times, which took a lot of courage. Now, I'm not sure if you're comfortable going to a gay bar/club, but I'm sure you will find someone there who you're attracted to. And if you like to dance then it can be a really nice atmosphere to just dance. There is always dating sites as well; I've used them before and I've met some pretty awesome women. Just make sure you're safe about it and up-front about what you're looking for. If that doesn't work then perhaps mingling with the gay men that you've met at group could open up doors for you. You never know who they may know and or are friends with. They may know a lady or two and introduce you to them. If that doesn't work then you could always approach women while shopping or just out and about. I'm pretty friendly, so whenever I got out, I often speak to everyone I come across. For example, there was this one time when I was at a fast food restaurant and I approached this girl without knowing if she was gay/bisexual. We had a similar interest (facial piercings) and I figured that was a good ice breaker and it totally worked! Things didn't work out because she (btw she was bisexual) kept talking about was her ex boyfriend. However, it felt good knowing that I could approach women without passing out :lol: It wasn't easy, but I did it and I was so proud of myself. I had gained so much confidence that asking another girl out was a lot easier. Like they say practice makes perfect so take a chance and have fun
i'm pretty much in the same boat. gay bars are great for hookups. they say birds of a feather flock together, so hanging with gay men may let a woman feel she can approach you. also if she doesn't seems to have trouble with gays you could approach her. good luck.
Thank you for your advice, it does help a lot to know there is someone to talk to out there. I am extremely scared of being by myself long term. I am trying to remain positive but it does get hard sometimes when I start worrying about things. Thanks for your help again xx
