Hey guys, I've been chatting to this guy for a few weeks on what's app. We have never spoken, but text, I would say were not completely in sync to have anything long term... But he respects I'm nervous and he says we can take it slow and go with whatever I feel comfortable with... So, I told my friend I'm going to meet him at his house on Saturday night, the first thing she said, was, 'at his house, why not a public place before going back to his house...' Is she wise to say this, I trust this guy is genuine and not a psychopath... I think he has been honest, he is a nurse...so he says... He knows medical jargon, I'm in the profession myself.. I'm kinda excited to meet him and explore him...am I thinking with my wrong brain?? Should I arrange to meet him I a bar and go from there, or amI being to cautious? Cheers guys.
For what it's worth, Richie, you are not cautious enough. From the way you describe your conversation with him, he sounds legit, but you don't really know, do you? By all means, meet him at a bar, or at a pub for dinner and drinks. But take your time. You want to be 100% safe! with no pressure or expectations on either end. If the two of you click, fine. You have your whole life ahead of you, and your life is in a lot of turmoil. I'm a big fan of taking time to get to know someone first. But even if you're not--if you're really eager to have this experience--you need to be safe. That's my two cents' worth, and as I always say to people, it's worth every penny you paid for it.
While I've done both, I'd say use your intuition. There's nothing wrong with meeting first in a public place, if not a bar then a coffeeshop or something. Then, if everything seems good, you can follow him to his house. Also, keep in mind that meeting him at his house does tend to sort of imply something so as long as you're clear on that, then there's no problem.
I make it a rule that any first date should be in a public place, it's a fairly basic saftey precaution, as is letting someone know if you're going to a new guy's place for the first time.
My mom brain (trained well by my mom LOL) says also to make sure someone knows where you are going and who you are with. I am looking at your age and you are an adult but I got you beat by more than a decade and I still let people know where I am going even though that is generally to the store or to pay bills. LOL I vote play it safe but like I said it's coming from my mom brain.
always a public place for me. if we want to get intimate then we go to a either ones place. any walk of life ( even a nurse ) can be an unsafe person to be alone with.
Richie Even if you were a Psychiatrist that could identify a psychopath at a mile, public place first. It would be easier to exit if you don't like what you see.It would also protect him against expecting too much, especially if he is a genuinely a nice guy. If he seems fine, you can decide. I met up with a guy this week for the first time after we communicated on whats app for a week. The moment I saw him, on the sidewalk in front of his place, I felt tremendous compassion towards him, I instantly recognized that there is no potential for anything more than maybe friendship. The wrong impression could have been created by going to his place. Good luck with your exciting adventure! Keep us posted
Thanks Richie - this is something that I hadn't even considered to start with but for me, it'll be public places until I've got to know him a bit and even then, thinking with the 'dad' brain ( ) I'll still make sure I tell someone I've got a visitor..
Richie...PUBLIC...If something, God forbid, were to go south, what would you do. Good guy or not...this is the place in the movie where you want to say to the the potential victim...DON"T DO IT!...have you never seen "Fatal Attraction" or "Jagged Edge". Be safe..."It's always fun and games until, someone gets hurt."...This is your Father speaking.
OMG. Sorry EC. I did it... He is someone I've know quite a while. Sure I get what your saying but it felt right for me. OMG. I've had my first gay kiss. I've held my first... I quivered like never before. So amazing!! Have such a hue smile on my face!! Thanks for the advice guys!
Good for you Richie. I'm so please for you. It's not that long ago that I had that same experience and the smile you have stays with you!
More than jealous...waiting for my chance...but without any snarkiness...I really glad you had a wonderfull time.
