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How to know for sure without testing the waters...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by stacie f, Feb 1, 2014.

  1. stacie f

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    mid-atlantic
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I am a 39 year old transsexual woman who is really unsure where I lie on the orientation spectrum. I am currently married to a female, but we have been abstaining from sex for years. I never really questioned my orientation until I started transition some 9 years ago ( it's been a long and very slow transition). I have been noticing guys with increasing frequency and realizing instances, when I was younger, where I was checking guys out, but didn't really recognize it as such. My fantasies consist of me as a female with a guy. Its been that way since my teen years. I am not really sure about the romantic portion of attraction. I don't know if I could live with and be intimate with a guy.

    Sex with my wife, or for that matter any girlfriend, in the past was never quite fulfilling. I go through the motions, sometimes to completion, sometimes not. I am not fully sure if this is more an orientation issue or more a trans issue. I don't really want to have sex with my wife anymore (aversion to using my penis). I have a willing partner, whom everyone wishes they have, and I am completely disinterested. Although, every once and a while I will see a guy who trips the trigger and it gets me thinking about being intimate. I haven't had that type a feeling about a girl since meeting my wife some 8 years ago.

    Being that I am in a committed relationship, rocky as it may be, i don't want to cheat to find out. So... is there a way to get a better grip on where I am without physically having sex with a guy? Is it all just a transsexual confirmation fantasy or is it real attraction?
     
  2. Claudette

    Claudette Guest

    It could be a result from the transitioning, a side effect (rare) from HRT(MTF) makes you want to date a guy (kinda like a confirmation I guess), but it's the hormones, they can change your orientation, but.. I was told it's a rare thing. However I do know that taking the female hormones can make your libido akin to that of a dead horse, and give you erectile dysfunction.
    I am just starting HRT.. so I can't really say.
    I would see a specialist about it, and get advice from them and see if it helps ^^
     
  3. Sailorsheart

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    I am wondering if a frank communication with your wife might help. She needs to know what your feelings really are and how much stress you are feeling. How can it be cheating if you communicate with her to let her know your feelings? Any relationship I have ever had always balanced on communications between myself and my partner. Talk, talk, talk and then talk some more... I wish you the absolute best in your future.