My family and I are pretty much not very close and I've been the blacksheep in my family for years but I'm distancing myself from them so when I come out and they reject me , it would not hurt as much , my mother also noticed that I don't get close to my family and my aunt too . I will only talk to my cousins on facebook if their birthday is coming up and after that I wouldn't say anything and I don't call them or chat there anymore they also don't chat with me either but I think it's best if I distance myself so I won't be hurt when they reject me . I"m also thinking that I want to keep sexuality to myself and that part of my only open to my friends because my friends seem more like family to me than my actual family . I'm torn and wondering if i should ever come out to my family I know if I tell my mom she will tell everyone else and I can just imagine the awful jokes they will make about me and I will be the butt of the jokes in the family . My family has made fun of me in the past for not having boyfriends and also being a virgin and I noticed my other little cousin who is a teenager no longer talks to me or deems me uncool because unlike my other cousins I'm not having sex with guys and I'm a boring virgin even one of my cousins even had the nerve to insult me on it . I just feel like when i come out I don't want to be close to my family anymore or have anything to do with them because I know I will be rejected and not loved . I just feel like I don't need them in mylife although my mom forces me to get along with them and tells me you'll need them one day if you have trouble in life but it seems like no one cares for me or likes me because I'm not hetero enough for them and doing things a hetero girl should do like having sex with guys and that I'm childish because of this . growing up I could tell my cousins never liked me because I was so different l and my personally was unlike theirs I knew if we were not relatives they would never play with me or even talk to me . As an adult I see it more they don't want to have anything to do with me , even my mom sees this and once told me that they don't want to hang out with me because I'm a virgin and inexperienced when it comes to sex and that i'm an idiot and no one wants to hang out with an idiot . I just don't think I can take that so I would like to distance myself from them am I wrong to think this way or to even do this ?
I have 2 thoughts on this: The first is merely an observation: If my family didn't happen to be in-front of me at any given time, we would have no contact. One side of my family I see at christmas for two days and barely a word passes between us. We get on OK. The other side I see fairly regularly and we chat a bit but I wouldn't ever contact them for anything. I only ever speak to the when they are in the room (if that) and they live less than 15 minutes away from me. We get on REALLY well. I only point this out because I consider my relationship with my cousins to be fairly normal, where as it seems if you were in my position you would think you had basically blanked the lot of them! Not a criticism or anything, just interesting to me. The second and probably more important thing is that HELL NO you aren't wrong to think it, nor would you be wrong to do it. Relationships are a two way street. You put love in and they put love in, otherwise what you have is a master-servant scenario where you try and put love in, they ignore it and return nothing but scorn. If your friends are more like your family, then fine, let it be that way. If your friends love you, love them back and be happy with it. If your family don't, then it is there loss. If they cast you out for being YOU, then what purpose do they have in your life?
Yeah i feel like I don't owe them anything and they don't need to know if I'm lesbian or straight it's my business only my friends or people that care for me has the right to know
Im sorry you are going through this Stocking, It's a shame you dont have the support of your family, but at least you have friends and you have EC!!
