Let me start out by saying yesterday started out really well. One of my students made me an ID bracelet out of beads. It was especially touching, because middle school students rarely do anything like this. I was also looking forward to chorus rehearsal. High point of my week, because it's a great group of guys and it doen't have that sexually charged atmosphere of the bars. I got an e-mail in response to my coming out to my oldest friend. She informed me that my choice would lead to my eventual damnation and as she does not wish to expose herself or her family to such sin, we'll be seeing less of one another. I half expected this response, but it's different when you see it in print. She was indignant when I said I had hoped her son wouldn't say anything about me to my daughter (they're 10). As litte pichers have big ears, I didn't it was unreasonable. Well, if she's going to condemn me based on Leviticus, I hope she starts keeping Kosher. As a Christian, I'm greatly sadden by her response and have a better understanding why so many young gay people hold no beliefs. If this was truly a choice, I can guarantee you I'd have had better sense than to have picked being gay...with a wife and 3 children:bang: On to the next poison toad. Just let me just get it out there, all men are ass:***:s and need to be treated accordingly. Several days ago my wife said that she was having a work party for someone leaving the company for which she works. She came home pissed at me, because she had to leave so early. I told her I could be a little late for rehearsal. She dropped it, no biggie I thought. She could have asked me not to go, and I'd have said yes. Well, she was really resentful. Her life had to be put on hold for "my gay chorus," and ssing as I was moving on with my life, perhaps I should move out, "It's as if we're divorced in your mind anyway." As this crap, because I didn't intuit she really wanted the night out. I was then told how irresposible I was for not having the children fed before 7, pretty close to our normal time. This because my phone died. It's happened before. I resent being tied to the phone, but I've always felt this way about phones. I overslept 2 mornings last week. How could I be counted on to get the children up and off to school? Buy a louder alarm clock?!? I did go to rehearsal and may have a place to hang my hat at friend's house should this become a real issue, but I feel like it's about her pushing me out. Hell, she has the big job making 3X's what I make, brother's and their families (I'm an only whose closest living relatives are cousins), and the support of friends who won't desert her. She also has my old church. It was requested I change and I did, despite the fact it broke my heart to do so. I don't want to whine about this sort of thing, apart from being unattractive, there's the parental message that keeps playing over and over that men don't whine...for some odd reason crying was okay...whining or snivelling were perhaps among the least manly things any one could due...I can hear my father say "Buck up, be a man." That's another story for another time. I feel so pissed off and pissed on:tantrum:.
Scott, Sorry you are having a bad day. Funny how things can go from good to bad in a flash. Stay strong!!
Well, damn. It never rains, but it pours, right? First of all, your so-called "friend" is a "pig from Hell and must be destroyed". You might want to consider buying her daughter a flannel shirt and tell her you are putting a gay curse on her. Second--I really thought my wife was the only girl in her family, but it sounds like she has a long-lost sister in NY. Those mind games are SO familiar. I get basically the same kind of crap for singing in our church choir. She never lays out her expectations until they have NOT been met, and is always willing to inconvenience herself for my benefit, if it means she can bitch at me about it later. Lately, since we have been having either snow or subzero weather, she has taken to shoveling the snow before I get home, so she can point out that she is trying to make my life easier--as she hacks and gasps wheezes from the asthma attack that it brought on. Never mind the fact that I walk an hour a night in the same subzero weather without a problem, and would welcome the exercise. Oh, and I have gotten the "divorced in your mind" already line as well, applied to everything from a new sweater from Goodwill to buying colored briefs instead of white to looking at emails while she and the girls watch "The Bachelor". It's ridiculous. Deep breaths, Tim. Some day you'll have a nice, even-tempered guy who will let you sing whenever the hell you want and will play the flute when you get home. :icon_bigg In the meantime....patience.... (*hug*)
((((((((((( Tim ))))))))))) <--- That's a hug, btw I doubt I can say much to help right now. But I do agree that your friend isn't much of a friend...you'll find out who your real friends are (it's a side-benefit of coming out). The only other thing that sticks in my mind is that yes, as Pete says, things can go from good to bad in a flash...but they also go from bad to good just as quickly. I always try to remember that when I'm having a bad time...I find this truth inescapable and comforting.
Wow, friends like that, who needs enemies? As for your wife, oh man I feel for you. I get that attitude and haven't even come out yet. Anytime I speak up for myself I'm the biggest jerk tthat she's ever known. Whenever I can't take any more crap from the kids when they won't listen and finally yell enough to get their attention and make them stop, I'm the horrible person and maybe I should just go away. Who knows, maybe I will someday? Then whatcha gonna do?! You know, that Gay Badger Brotherhood colony is sounding better and better... any takers? Seriously though, just give her space, and let things cool down. Most decisions made in the heat of emotion are bad ones in the long run, at least from what I've seen.
This morning it was still frosty...tonight I pickup my daughter and call in a pizza and it as if yesterday didn't happen...I don't get it...to quote Henry Higgins, "Why can't a woman be more like man?"...or at least a level-headed lesbian...You've no idea how I hate the "guess what I want" game. Well, thanks to the chorus I may have a place if I need it. Still pissed:tantrum:
that is shitty, especially the BEST friends reaction. me and another girl got caught when i was 13. i was told i was sick and was going to hell. the girl mom said the same thing but that i was responsible for damning her daughter's soul as well.then the girl ( my first ) and i thought my best friend threw me under the bus. you'll get through this.
looooooolllll absolutely priceless. I love it. OP I'm so sorry you had such a lousy day. I'm particularly upset at the so-called "Christian friend". While I guess one may be able to expect a response like that on some level, it must have really hurt coming from someone you thought was a close friend. *hugs*
It is amazing how some of these people who call themselves "Christians", can remember a few out of context phrases from Leviticus, and ignore the major message of love and treatment of others as you would wish to be treated. Trees--forest.
Some of them are so much worse than that. I have to believe there is a special place in Hell for people that can judge other human beings they don't understand.
Please... My born again Christian sister asks every time we talk "Was it a good decision to leave your wife? Have you considered going back?" Duh! I am gay! What do you think? Aaarrrrgghh! Tom
I see what you did there... and I like it Tim, sorry your day has sucked. This is definitely one of those Mars-Venus days all married guys go through, even the ones who are NOT gay. Hang in there. Sometimes misunderstandings are the fault of no one -- they are what they are. Tomorrow will be better.
Haha! Cool idea :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 8th Feb 2014 at 01:08 PM ---------- @tscott - hang in there. These days it seems are sent to test us all. The very bad, followed by the bad (which always seems better than what went before...), and then into the better again. The 'friend' - without being judgemental - is no true friend. I'd cut someone like that out of my life for judging me like that. You don't need that kind of poison and guilt being thrown at you. Keep strong.
