Hi guys, Last week, I was out on a work night out, and my boss took me to a lappy bar. I've been to this sort of place before, mainly on stag do's etc. I ended up having 5 dances with some very beautiful girls, most of which left me very aroused and feeling horny. I guess this has left me wondering whether I am physically attracted to women but once in a relationship, the level of attraction reduces over time. Obviously lap bars are very false environments and this is not something I chose to do on this occasion. So... My current situation is I'm planning on moving out from the family home (possibly next week). I'm still muddled about my sexuality and don't identify as being gay. But I am starting to learn about myself and my real needs. Emotionally, I feel much more stable now, compared with 2-3 months ago. Any help or comments?
bigeagle - Many people are not exclusively gay or straight. You may fall within that wide "bi" range (Kinsey 1-5). Add that lap-dancers *must* have great bodies to do the job. Whatever hetero feelings you have were likely enhanced because they had only very attractive women, scantily clad (or naked). Also, it is common for sexual attraction to change over the course of a relationship. "New" love / sex is the most intense. So to better understand your feelings, ask yourself these questions... Am I more sexually attracted to women or men? Am I more emotionally attracted to women or men? When attraction falls off in a relationship, is it because of the gender of your partner? Or is it the normal decrease in intensity as the relationship becomes more familiar?
Hi, Gay guy here... NEVER understood the attraction of the female body. A total puzzlement to me. Yeah, I married and have two kids but conceiving them, the act... I could have been taking out the trash. A chore to simply finish. If a lap dancer was in front of me I would simply be uncomfortable and she would feel she did something wrong. As a gay man I am useless to you in this situation. Tom
Stimulation is stimulation...rub it enough and you'll get a boner regardless of the source of stimulation...that's part of the insidiousness of molestation you may not desire the attention, but your body still responds to the stimulus...for what it's worth.
When I came out to my DAd (who was super conservative and and I thought he'd abandon me) but he was AWESOME!!! He said tjat he understands my attraction to women as they have great curves and are sooo attractive...
I totally understand where your at. I have always been attracted to women. I have spent my fair share of time and money at nudey bars over the years and get rather aroused by the women. I have had several relationships with women over the years and the conclusion that I came up with is that I just can't connect with a woman like I can with a man. Well I assume. I'm not exactly sure as I have never been in a committed relationship with a man but have had a couple close friendships where the emotional connection was there better than with the women I have dated. I guess we will see. It is for this reason that for now I am coming out to people as gay instead of Bi although I know I am Bi. I figure if my relationships will now be with men I don't need to explain any further.
Been to the T&A bars a couple times for bachelor parties and it did absolutely nothing for me. Actually, no, I felt bad for the women working there being objectified by horny drunk men. I was embarrassed to be there, so I stayed by the bar, sipped a G&T, and managed to scope out some of the plumbing when I had to hit the head, so the night wasn't a total bust. For my own "bachelor" party (more like a closet party), I just went to dinner with my to-be-brother-in-law, we went to a movie, then crashed at his condo and watched a porno and went to bed. My fiancee went out with his wife and a bunch of their girlfriends to a male strip club and a bar. I was so jealous, I would have rather gone there! I did find a couple of snapshots they had taken at the club eventually, damn that would have been so much fun....
This makes so much sense. I find women to be hot and I always will be turned on by them (boobs rock!), but as soon as I get physically aroused and into the act, I long for a guy. I'm attracted to women but my sexual preference is 100% towards men as the feelings are more intense. Not sure if this makes sense, but it is what it is and I am who am. I identify as gay in spite of it.
Hetero conditioning to garner acceptance, belonging and praise? If so would free expression of your true sexuality diminish it?
Give me a a drink or two and a hot, or even semi hot man or woman starts touching me, of course its exciting! To me -- that's not what counts -- but what your desires are, what you think of, what you really want. Don't sweat it. Its your body responding. That's entirely different than what's in your heart, head, and soul.
Hi, Was it Kort who said being gay is so much more than simply sex. It touches every part of your being. Sex is simply an easy item to put your finger on. Tom
I have been to a strip-club before, on a stag-do... yikes! It was akward. Sat in the back of the "group" whilst the main-man had his dance and doodles. I checked it all out too see whats the fuss but it did absolutely nothing for me upstairs nor downstairs.
Wow. And I sat at some of these joints, getting chatted up my semi-naked girls, watching them do all sorts of naked pole dancing and I thought the discomfort I felt being there was just some sort of 'moral high ground'. Actually, it was because now, looking back, it did absolutely nothing for me at all. Not a thing. I actually remember almost asking a girl who started chatting me up (all my friends were variously in booths or had girls draped over them) - she was virtually naked and had that look of someone who had forgone a good couple of decent meals to get that 'hungry look' - about whether the club put on a taxi or bus for them all to get home at the end of the night, cos there was no public transport running after midnight and the city wasn't a safe place to be walking home... That'll have been the dad in me... I did manage to stop myself, even though I'd had a skinful to drink...
