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An emotional evening

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by jae, Feb 11, 2014.

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  1. jae

    jae
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    I came out to my oldest son last night. I knew I had to I was slowly dying inside I felt if I didnt do it soon I would have to end my life. My biggest FEAR through this whole process has always been how will my sons perceive me after they knew. I had planned that if they could not accept me my life would not be worth living. They are all I have left in this life and I need them more than they need me. Sounds macabre and a little melodramatic, but an absolute in my mind.

    I never thought that this is how it would turn out...

    I picked my 16yr old up from work last night, we went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. After check out we sat in my car. He knew something was wrong as I stammered looking, searching for the words. I looked at him this 6'2" 220lb captain of the Varsity football team hyper masculine kid of mine and died inside expecting the worst. In a tearfull apology I gained my footing and said it.. Im Gay...
    "Oh my God dad you scared the shit out of me I thought you were going to tell me you were dying."

    "I dont think you understand son Im gay"

    I put my hands in my face and couldnt keep back the tears..

    I said " Im sorry im not the dad you thought you had. And I know I will never be THAT dad".

    He rubbed my back and reapeatedly said dad its ok, im soo damn proud of you. It must have been so hard for all these years.. I love you dad more than anything never forget that!!!
    I do not condone cursing but I allowed it last night as he was only trying to express himself..

    Fuck those other dads I have the best dad in the world!

    I feel so blessed. Im still filled with emotion crying...
    We talked for hours and my son was the one reassuring me that everything was going to be ok!!
    :icon_bigg
     
    #1 jae, Feb 11, 2014
  2. Nick07

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    You have brought him up well :wink: Congrats!
     
    #2 Nick07, Feb 11, 2014
  3. BlueSky224

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    Congratulations!

    You must be an incredible father. Thank you for sharing your pride in your son, and an uplifting story for all of us.
     
    #3 BlueSky224, Feb 11, 2014
  4. Molly1977

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    Oh my God, so cute. You must be so proud of your son. your very lucky to have him :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Molly1977, Feb 11, 2014
  5. greatwhale

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    Oh great, now I've got tears from reading this...

    Sir, that took truckloads of courage, you have a loving and accepting son, count your blessings!
     
    #5 greatwhale, Feb 11, 2014
  6. Choirboy

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    Good to hear from you again, jae! And what a wonderful story. You obviously brought him up right. How are things going otherwise?
     
    #6 Choirboy, Feb 11, 2014
  7. link4816

    link4816
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    This is amazing. I am very happy for you.
     
    #7 link4816, Feb 11, 2014
  8. mermaid

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    Jae, I was in tears when reading your story!
    You must be an amazing dad and can be really proud about your son.
    Congrats to your coming out, it must be a big relief for you. (*hug*)
     
    #8 mermaid, Feb 11, 2014
  9. jae

    jae
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    Thanks everyone,

    I sat outside this morning basking in the winters chill having my coffee. Looking at life anew. I have been having my moments of crying out of absolute happiness. I never thought this would be the outcome. I have lived in absolute fear my whole life worried about what others would think, when in the grand scheme of life their opinion matter not. It was only that of my children that did... I feel I can take controll of my life and be me and I have never felt empowered to do so... Life has been hard lately and this has been life changing...

    It does get better.......

    I am an emotional train wreck.... in the best imaginable way...
    Thank you all for your support, your stories and giving everyone a breath of hope..
     
    #9 jae, Feb 11, 2014
  10. Pete1970

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    Jane,

    Way to go!! Its nice to hears stories like this. (Except for the tears reading this at work)

    Glad it went well for you, that took a lot of courage.
     
    #10 Pete1970, Feb 11, 2014
  11. Choirboy

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    Thank YOU, jae, for giving US all a little extra boost of hope! Stuff like that goes a long way towards lowering our collective blood pressure. Great kid. And great dad!
     
    #11 Choirboy, Feb 11, 2014
  12. StillAround

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    OK, you had me weeping, too.

    Never underestimate the young. They may be the salvation of the world. One minute, they're so wrapped up in their own stuff, and you think that they don't even know you exist outside of the moment they interact with you. And the next, they surprise you with their wisdom, as if they were born 60 years old.

    And you thought you needed your son more than he needed you. Silly guy! His biggest fear was that you were going to tell him you were dying... Because he loves and needs you so much!

    As I said, never underestimate the young....
    (&&&)
     
    #12 StillAround, Feb 11, 2014
  13. KyleD

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    THAT'S SO AWESOME! Your son knows that you're an amazing dad, your're sexuality won't change that for him! :grin:
     
    #13 KyleD, Feb 11, 2014
  14. Penpal

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    What a lovely story, it must bring you peace to know you have such a lovely son. You must be proud of him and you should be proud of yourself. I hope you can live your life happily now with the freedom that your love ones are with you by your side. X
     
    #14 Penpal, Feb 11, 2014
  15. duende84

    duende84
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    Awww man - that brought tears to my eyes. Love will conquer all!
     
    #15 duende84, Feb 11, 2014
  16. GayDadStr8Marig

    GayDadStr8Marig
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    I'm so happy for you things went so well, I'm sitting at my desk crying. You've done good, dad! :slight_smile:

    (&&&) (&&&)
     
    #16 GayDadStr8Marig, Feb 11, 2014
  17. Clay

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    That was absolutely fantastic! Honestly, so happy for you right now.
     
    #17 Clay, Feb 11, 2014
  18. tscott

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    I truly couldn't be happier for you...not only are the father of an amazing kid...but despite your fears you are good and well loved I'm so glad my students are getting on their buses...to many questions about tears...you must be so proud.


    (&&&)
     
    #18 tscott, Feb 11, 2014
  19. Yossarian

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    :tears: It must be wonderful to have a son, especially a wonderful son like him. So happy for you both, Jae.
     
    #19 Yossarian, Feb 11, 2014
  20. mbanema

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    Your son sounds like an amazing person. I'm glad to hear this went so well for you. :slight_smile:
     
    #20 mbanema, Feb 11, 2014
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