And neither are for me.. They're ok and one is v hot, but the vibe just isn't right... Long story short, I don't know whether it's because I've been a closet guy or what but I've never connected with guys like I do girls, I have always been kinda awkward around guys, I felt comfortable these two guys, but there's no spark... Now I'm worried I will ever fall in love with a guy.. Maybe I will live a life on my own... Who knows... Just worried...
Hi, Don't discount these guys as your gay network will be family. Closer than many families and not be sexual. Remember, you are a baby gay, it is going to take time. Tom
I have met a few guys; ok 6, 3 were nice to kiss and 3 were not. 1 of the 3 I liked and thought could be relationship material but the kissing and touching just didn't feel right Another of the 3 I didn't like the kissing part it was actually better the 2nd time round, he was never relationship material for me, but sometimes if you think there was something there you could road test them again, but then like anything you can pick it in the first 5 minutes. Keep looking, and keep exploring.
Kissing never mattered to me. My 15 year partner did not kiss. Only thing he didn't do. It was his "hold card" in hindsight... I am not gay, I don't kiss... All kinds of rationalizations in closeted world. Look for a mental/emotional/spiritual bond (chemistry) first and the physical should settle itself. You cannot rush chemistry. Numbers game. Tom
Ric, Ric, Ric....2 guys and you're worried? That's like going to a giant buffet, having 2 appetizers and saying "Oh, I don't think I'm going to find something here that I really like!" You are so young and now, so free! Meet people and have fun. You have a lot to offer and you may not really know yet what you're even looking for. You'll find love! Maybe for now, just try to find "like". It will happen. (*hug*)
This is a fear I have myself, as I've only ever been with women, and only with my wife over the last seven years. It feels like it's hard to know what will be comfortable--whether it will ever be comfortable. Part of that is because certain parts of me have been turned off--certain emotions--for most of my life so that I could be comfortable in straight relationships. I adapted, not even knowing I was doing it, and it's sort of like a huge part of my emotional spectrum is numb, like an arm that's fallen asleep. I agree with skiff that it's just going to take time.
Let's go with your analogy, because it resonates with me. I wake up in the morning with my hand and lower arm "asleep" because I had my hand in some odd position under my pillow for too long. At first, it doesn't feel like my own hand. I touch it with my other hand, and all I feel is a dead hand, and my dead hand feels nothing because, well, it's sort of dead. But then, little by little, my hand wakes up. First, it begins to tingle, a sort of pain that's pleasurable only because even the pain feels better than numbness. And then feeling begins to return. It still feels odd, and not quite attached to the rest of my body. And then, finally, full feeling returns, and my hand really is attached to my body, and I feel whole again. Get the message? Or shall I explain ...
You really first have to know someone for a while before there can be any spark. It is better you dont "fall" for them just because of good looks - because that can usually build up expectations which is smashed when you start knowing the person. Good luck and have fun!
