Hello, im a bi and i have a gf for 4yrs now and she recently got married, and it is very painful on my part, i thought it will be the end of our relationship..before that, we had a wonderful relationship at first and got a little shaky after she had a bf, we always argue and end up fighting but still we managed to settle issues, i admit im a jealous type of person but sweet i made sure i gave the best for her and she knows that, we always argue about her bf as i got jealous but we're always together that she had no time for her guy, and as time came for them to decide to get married, that was the time i thought of something serious that might happen to our relationship, it is very painful,it hurts a lot of course, but she doesn't want to break up with me, and right now,we seldom see each other because of that guy, i hate him so much,because he took away my gf! My gf doesn't know how to figure out to give her time with me,she always think of that guy and her new family,i just hate them all! Im sorry if im kind of selfish,but i think it's just a normal feeling..i dont know if there are some out there who have the same situation that i am going through right now.. I need advice, i really don't know what to do, i feel confused and insecure, no matter what we are going through,and still we end up good together, sometimes i thought of breaking up with her but i can't! And she doesn't want to break up with me as well..but for me, it's very hard, i want more of her time but in her situation right now,it is impossible..pls help me what to do. We do love each other but i can't take seeing her with that guy! :icon_sad:
You shouldn't have to share. Imo, you should move on. idk how all this happened but she clearly chose her family over having a gf if she's choose to marry him.
Right now,we're still on, i just dont understand why she couldn't break up with me, why she can't be with her guy alone. I can see her as selfish as i am as well..she's happy because all of her plans turned out the way she wanted to be knowing im in pain. It's my fault because i can't let go of her, i think it's just a normal reaction for now. I just hope someday i will learn how to let go and move on.. P.s. It is easy to say to just move on with this kind of situation i am going through but it's hard to do it,we're on for almost 5yrs now.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! So let me ask this - does her husband know about you? Or is she essentially having an affair with you behind his back? If that is the case - it's like she's "having her cake and eating it too" while you suffer with less than half of a relationship, and her husband is unaware that he isn't getting 100% of his spouse either. I'd say the same thing - you need to move on. Cut her out of your life. Get out and meet new people. Let me ask another question - are you 'out' to many people? Or has your relationship with her been a secret of yours as well? "Moving on" and "seeing other people" is easier when you're comfortable with your own orientation and you can be open and honest about it with other people. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Thank u for your advice..as for your first question, no, her husband doesn't know about our relationship, she told me she doesn't want to loose me either, we always argue when it comes to her married life, she always tell me that i should understand her situation and i said, how about me? And then she gets mad at me..im having a hard time breaking up with her because i love her that much..i maybe stupid to stay in this relationship.. But what can i do? We had so many good memories together,maybe that's the reason im holding her back..and she wants me to get married and have my own family but she wants our relationship to still be there..yes, im the one suffering and she always tell me, she's more than affected because of her situation having two relationships so i need to understand..i get mad because she doesn't seem to see how i feel about my situation and she would always tell me that im selfish,that i shouldn't get jealous..how could that be possible? As for the second question, the answer is still no, but i have a college friend and my ex who knows about the real me and i can't tell my family about it so it's really hard to tell someone about us, whenever i feel sad and depressed, i have no one to talk to that's why i've searched on the internet and found this site and to know if im not the only one who had this kind of situation im dealing right now.. :'(
Move on buddy. Life is too short to be in turmoil. Making a move in the direction of inner health is the hardest thing to do. I have done it and it is never easy but the outcomes are far better, what you become is far better. You can do this!
You guys say the same...but could it be possible if i stepped down to her level and just accept everything and go with the flow? Btw, she went to an exclusive school (all girls) and im not but she have friends who are still together but both have their own family and she wants us to be in that situation as well..on my part, it is really hard seeing them together and thinking about what they are doing, you know what i mean and it's killing me! I just dont understand why she couldn't let me go knowing that she's married now. In every arguments we had,for her, I am always the bad person. She couldnt realize the pain she's giving me. And im stupid enough to stay with her until now.. Im just waiting for my application to work abroad and meet someone and i hope it will be the start to stand up on my own without her and finally to let go of her.. I hope so..
