So what to do. I've been a single Dad with full custody of my kids for ~15 years. I still have a kid in high school. (Other at university). My high schooler is with his Mom every other weekend and 1 night a week. That's my time to socialize, date, etc and not think about coming home what I'm doing etc. Ex tells me today she's moving to the other side of the country in 4 weeks. I'm floored. She kinda did this years back, changed jobs, which meant I only had "time off" every 2 weeks. That was bad enough, but I wasn't dating and was a hermit b/c of my insane job. But now, I'm out, having a blast , and need my freedom. My kid is a senior in high school, and a special meets child. Some alone time is fine, but I'm not sure how long I'd feel comfortable with. Ugh. This is so unfair. Just don't know how to approach this. Talk about a crimp on lifestyle!
Gutted for you! and feel your pain. so what? - she expects you to look after the high schooled 100% of the time now? wtf!! Have dedicated many many years to looking after the kids.. and still a long road to go.. arg "pulls hair" The first ten years, (with ex) I had 2 weekend's off in all that time -(I kid you not) and that was as of car and money probs, and was petrified of coming out, so never did till now, many years later, after getting into even more trouble, thinking hat I needed was a wife and more kids!! aarg, 4 now... ye gods. so now I'm finally coming out, but I've made it pretty fooking impossible, or at least an awful lot harder, or is it just different.. seems hard now. anyhow, - looking after kids not easy - hmm, sorry no help to you atall, but I sympathize!
Pete, You have very little time with him left. Soon he will be off in college and you will be faced with an empty nest. All those "irritations" will be missed. When he comes to visit his piles of laundry will bring back fond memoirs. Don't wish this precious time away. Enjoy it. You have been given a gift. Tom
Yeay! true true.. (good to see some positivity! sk) hm, let me see, i have ... 16, no 17 or more years to go.. loooool. (bangs head)
Pete, You mentioned that your son has special needs. What are your expectations for him beyond high school? I feel your pain. I have full custody of my 3 year. Her dad gets only supervised visitation due to addiction and mental health issues. And he moved out of state. SO, my girlfriend and I have to make time. Today, for example, we took 8 hours of annual leave and spent the day together. It was my Christmas present to her. We got coffee, took a walk, went out to lunch, got foot massages, and spent the afternoon in bed until time for daycare pickup. I don't know when we'll be able to do it again. We also spend time together with my daughter and get a babysitter sometimes. But it is really hard. I can't go out to the gay bar for karaoke until 4 am like I'd like to (occasionally). I encourage you to make the most of this time and plan for the future.
Pete, I hear you! My son, 7, has special needs, too which means that he needs our attention and care all the time. That is the reason why I didn't divorce from his father, we are trying to give our son the best preconditions so that he hopefully can live a quite normal live as grown-up, with a job, somewhere to live and maybe a partner, too. There are not so many years left that he will live at home, tvelve maybe. I do feel your pain.(*hug*) Your son already is in his teens. I don't know how much care he needs, are there any other persons who will and can take care of him so that you can go out sometimes? I felt so stuck when I at first came out to myself, I could not imagine how I could be myself. I still do not get so much time for being me, but I do enjoy every second with my girlfriend or when I can go shopping or are able to read a book. I do have some questions if ok?: 1 Will you have full custody of your son? 2 What would help you the most, is it time for yourself? 3 Are you able to get some help where you live? 4 Do you have a social network around your son? Who could qualify? No, what your ex did isn't fair, neither to you nor to your kids. Big hugs!(&&&) PM me if you want!
Thanks all. I'm still processing. I suppose technically I could say she "can't" and she ought to speak with her lawyer. But practically, there isn't anything I can do. My son is such a good kid. I really don't know, yet, what to say to my ex about this.
Pete, Hmmm... What to say... How about; "soon our boy will be living his own life and may not have a lot of time for us. Are you sure you want to forfeit this last bit of time with him?". It is a poignant simple truth. Tom
