Hey Everyone, Angel here and today is 2/24/2014 and I have finally made that ultimate decision. The one that will change my life forever, and to be quite honest as much as I am apprehensive about opening my "closet door" fully I am just as excited about my new adventure. I have finally decided to and have "COME OUT" to at least one person, that person is... ME!!!! I have come to terms with and accept the fact that I am not bi or curious, but truly, unequivocally "LESBIAN"!!! Here are some reasons why "I believe" I should have known. 1. If anyone has ever seen the show "Degrassi" and I mean the version from the late 80's early 90's...then you should remember a character named Joey. Well hell I wanted to be that dude,,,I even wore clothes like his, including the hat. HAHA! 2. When I was fifteen and a sophomore, there was a girl who became my locker partner. Well she one day came to me and asked if she could wear my Raiders jacket (a football team, come on how les is that...LOL)for what I don't know. I just remember having this electric feeling and excitement that she was wearing my jacket. Not to mention, I thought she was quite pretty too. When she gave me my jacket back, she told me she was leaving the school and how much she would miss me. She hugged me and I felt all excited again, then scared. I pushed that memory and feeling far back. 3. When I was in college I had a mad crush on a girl named Aisha. I thought she was sooo damn cute, and she was. I pushed those feelings far back. 4. Whenever I engaged in sexual intercourse penetration with a penis never does anything for me, but penetration with fingers drives me wild. The first time I had an orgasm true to life is with my current bf (which I will have to deal with carefully) and that only happened when he performed oral sex. And I thought I was going to loose my mind. The feeling was so right and so damned intense. 5. I remember seeing a porno when I was a child (about 10) and watching the male did nothing for me, but I do remember seeing another woman touch another woman; and I had butterflies in my stomach and I felt aroused by it. I would wonder how that would feel if it were me. 6. I had such bad body image issues at one point in my life that I believed that I couldn't be lesbian because who would want me. I'm not itty bitty skinny and I happen to be quite tall. I thought if I ever "Came Out" I would have to identify as Butch, Queer, or STEM (which there is nothing wrong with these lovely ladies, because they are my type actually) when I am quite feminine (love makeup, heels, and the whole nines), I mean I could never be seen as a Femme...riiiiiight? There could never be a cute, more Dom lesbian my age that could love me? Yes these are the foolish thoughts that I had. 7. I JUST FUCKING FELT THAT I WAS, ALL ALONG AND JUST WANTED TO BE SAFE SO I SUPPRESSED MY FEELINGS AND STATED THAT I WASN'T!!!! SOON I BEGAN TO BELIEVE IT. So when those feelings came rushing back, and caught up with me I thought I was going to loose my mind and became extremely depressed. Now that I have finally accepted the fact that yes I AM GAY, I can now truly work on discovering me more and more...I am no longer depressed, I feel quite happy. And I'm damn tired of trying to sleep my life away so I won't have to deal with my true feelings. So here I am today taking "MY FIRST STEP". Opening my closet door and looking across the room at the mirror, at myself and smiling a huge smile. Collecting my courage so that I may take my next step, putting one foot out of the "closet". (!!) Going to continue to take this slow and steady, but I feel so much better about all of this. Thanks to every one out here in the EC family, your stories and advice and just everything is helping me move forward on my road to "Self Discovery". Hugs to you all. (*hug*)
MiAngel: EPIC & AWESOME!!! You came out to the most important person: YOU!!!! (*hug*)(*hug*) (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
And that, Angel is perhaps the most important coming-out moment of your life. Now you know the real you and can embrace yourself and figure out how to move forward as yourself in life. Awesome news! It is such a good feeling, isn't it?! -Rich
Congratulations Angel! That is a huge step! Being able to accept yourself as gay is very important. I'm in a very similar situation and am currently trying to figure out how to go about starting the conversation with my boyfriend.
Thank you Rose27 ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2014 at 03:50 AM ---------- OMG...oh yes it is such a great feeling... ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2014 at 03:53 AM ---------- Thank you so much...Lilli, Paris and tScott...many hugs to you all (*hug*) ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2014 at 03:59 AM ---------- Thank you so much...and I know how you feel about the figuring out how to tell the boyfriend. I am just deciding to take that matter real slow and just enjoy my life with my new found discovery. I know when I am ready to explain all of this to him, I will know when that moment is. So just take your time with it, and when you are ready you will do it. Of course if you need someone to talk to I am here for you, so feel free to throw me a message or post on my wall... many hugs to you... (*hug*)
Congratulations! But I see on your out status that you're also out to your sister? How is she handling the news?
OMG...I was so surprised, she just hugged me and asked why I did not tell her earlier...she also stated she is my support as long as I need her...she is just waay too awesome...lol.:icon_bigg
That is wonderful! I'm so happy for you! Not everyone is as lucky, so please take good care of your relationship with her
Congrats on coming out to yourself. Also, so glad you have your sister for support. I am sure you will feel better about yourself and more confident now that you've confirmed this
