It is said many times that being bisexual is fortunate because their love isnt limited to gender right, its a personality thing. what happens when a person cheats, now cheating in general is a thing that people do for whatever the reason they make up. I am sure that for a lesbian or gay the only gender they will cheat with is another like themselves. So for a bisexual, when it comes to physical attraction would one say that as they cheat on who they are with, with an opposite sex because it is what they are missing or with the gender they are with during that specific time eg; if a bi woman is with a lesbian if any temptation comes it will only be for another lesbian. Does it vary?
Ignore the bisexual part, because it's just not going to apply to someone who wasn't already likely to cheat for some reason or another. Yes, sometimes someone will cheat because they want to be with someone of the opposite sex for a bit, but I wouldn't say it was common and I certainly don't think it's something to worry about any more than you would worry about someone cheating with the same sex. MOST people cheat for the person, not the sex organs.
Okay, I'm getting sick of this mindset that only bi and pan people fall for people cause of their personality. Mono peeps fall in love with people cause of their personality too, it just so happens that it's more likely gonna happen with someone of their own gender. Oh and pretty much everything Ellia said is right too.
Alright. Points taken but I still dont feel answered. Cheating is not for everyone as much as it is for anyone and yes no matter what sexuality a person may be, its personality that they fall for whether it was love at first sight or first chat. I mean dating or not, our eyes still work, and if what you are lucky, what you are looking at might be seeing you too and who knows the magic that could happen. My question was more from a physical attraction point of view. If I am a bi man dating a gay man, is it in my subconcious to only be eyeing other gay men? or because I am with a man, I might see more attractive woman during this time? I know this kind of question has a different answer from person to person. Just generally which 1 is it?
The answer is neither of those things, because that's not how your mind works. So if you are a bi male in a relationship, you will still notice other attractive people, of course you will, both male and female. Sexuality is all about potential. Having the potential to notice something attractive about another person. So in much the same way as a straight person in a relationship is going to notice attractive members of the opposite sex, and gay person is going to notice other attractive people of the same sex, a bisexual person is still going to notice attractive people. Whether they notice men or women depends partly on their own preferences. So to answer the question you actually asked, yes, a bisexual person is almost certainly going to notice people other than you who they find attractive. Perhaps even more attractive than you. BUT, and I can not stress this enough, that has NOTHING to do with cheating. Noticing someone else is attractive is just a thing the brain does. Even people who have no sexual attractions at all are able to identify aspects of a person that are pleasing to the eye, they just don't find it attractive. A bisexual person isn't any more likely to cheat than a straight person or a gay person or any other kind of person. If a bisexual person is literally just longing for a different kind of sexual experience, let's say a bisexual female in a lesbian relationship suddenly desires penetrative sex, she is far more likely to try and introduce different sex in to the relationship than to just cheat.
Yeah, I guess I'm still unclear on what you're really asking here. Just a straightforward answer as a bisexual woman. I've been with my female partner for nearly 28 years, and to my knowledge neither of us has ever cheated on the other. Do we notice other people and find them attractive? Absolutely! Is it just men? No...it's probably equally men and women. Do we desire these men and women sexually? Sure, sometimes. Do we fantasize about them? Sure, sometimes. Do we consider that cheating? Absolutely not! What happens in your mind is quite different from the behaviors you engage in in real life. Would I ever leave my partner to pursue these fantasies? Or do I fear her leaving me? Well, it's hard to foresee all ends, but it hasn't happened in nearly 28 years. I'll say we're not threatened in any way by either of us having these fantasies (and we're even less threatened when we can share them and enjoy them together). I usually prefer to give a more focused answer...I feel like this is slightly all over the place. But does it help address what you want to know at all?
Bisexuals being more likely to cheat is a nasty stereotype. Anyone will cheat if they are not committed to a relationship and are tempted to do so. It depends on the person, not the preference.
A bisexual will cheat for the same reasons anyone cheats. Either that person is truly just selfish and deceptive or there is poor communication about desire and sexuality within the relationship. Bisexuals (like everyone else) are all different. Some do go through periods of primarily same-sex or primarily opposite-sex attraction. Some only fantasize about the sex they are not with. Some fantasize about flashes of bodies whose sex can't be determined in the fantasy. Cheating though...it's pretty useless to theorize about cheating. That's something that you and your partner would need to work out in detail beforehand, establish rules for, talk about in the context of a larger discussion about bisexuality. The best way I guess to learn what a bisexual partner is thinking is to ask that partner. We're all different.
It can be a personality thing ... or it need not be. Usually, what I've heard is that, among bisexuals, certain people prefer certain types of sexual expression with the opposite gender and prefer certain types of sexual expression with the same gender. For such people, making up their minds can be difficult. It is far from a fortunate circumstance. Also, personality is sort of like anything else. It will determine whether the person you find physically attractive and you can have a go at it, on a longer term basis. ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2014 at 02:02 PM ---------- This is a good post because it covers a lot of variables that can be experienced. Thank you.
Tightrope, yes! I think the word for someone who only experiences sexual impulses upon falling in love is "demisexual." Which is different from bi, which is also different from pan. Most people I've known who defined themselves as bisexual were equally attracted to both kind of bodies and not necessary all kinds of gender expression. And sexual attraction is different from the tendency to form emotional bonds. In fact, sex and romantic bonding run on two different circuits in our brains--which is why we have terms like "homoromantic" and "heteroromantic." Sometimes the circuits line up (in a complete 50/50 bisexual let's say), sometimes they don't. Some people are missing one circuit. Asexuals, for example, can still have a gender preference or assigned sex preference in their partners even if they have no interest in actually sleeping with them. I guess the point is that although I feel like people saying "don't label yourself" is somehow invalidating because society will label us anyway, there is some truth to it in the sense that everyone is absolutely unique. Some straight people only date people with a certain type of personality, or a certain look, etc. Some genderqueer people only date people who are attracted specifically to genderqueer-ness. It's really important to know your partner exceedingly well when it comes to actual desire and self-identification, so just keep asking questions and you shouldn't have any problems.
I think of it this way a straight person in a straight relationship may be attracted to others of the opposite sex. They may or may not act on the attraction. It is the same for bisexuals. I am currently in a same sex relationship and at times find myself attracted to others but its just attraction. I fell in love with a person, her sex was irrelevant to the process.
Perhaps I'm going to get slammed for this and perhaps I deserve to be. I'm bisexual, but a while ago I went through a period of questioning if I was actually gay, and I was unfaithful to my partner to "prove to myself" that I was still into men. It was a difficult time for me I guess, and I realise I handled it badly. Though of course, that doesn't mean bisexual people are more likely to cheat. Just a different perspective.
butterfly dust, you are definitely not the only bisexual who has done that! I regret it too but it's good to know I'm not alone.
