I've been fighting grieving over the loss of my friendship with my ex. Its over. I broke his heart when I came out but he broke mine too. The difference was I was not being mean or vindictive. I was being honest. Its time for me to move forward. I have to let his anger be that:His anger. I lost over a decade of traditions we built together. I could not even watch baseball last year. New year. New season. New beginnings.
I'm so sorry he had that reaction. Give it some time though, let it sink in for him. He will prob go through many different phases of emotions. Good for you not letting his anger turn into your anger.
Thanks LostInside: I've been out over a year and am now divorced. Being angry is exhausting. I know him very well. He said last summer he wanted nothing more to do w/me. That will not change. To fix any relationship both people have to want it. He doesn't. I've finally accepted it.
Well Rosie, we are all expecting and hoping for acceptance, and if it isn't forthcoming from those we want it from, well then we have to accept that too. It's the essence of live and let live.
gw-I just realized you've been sharing your wisdom & helping to keep me sane on this journey of coming out almost a year! Thank you. (*hug*)
loss is hard i know. even though the relationship is over you get to keep the good memories and now you have the freedom to make more with someone new. congratulations on not owning his anger.
My ex was once my best friend. Now she won't even answer my calls. It does take time to feel the pain and move on from that. Do hang on to the good memories.
Didn't realize the relationship had been over for a year. I'm pretty new here. That's got to be difficult, i fear the same will happen when i tell my boyfriend. He has been my best friend for so long. Its hard to let go of the one person that really knows you. Guess i need to prepare myself to accept whatever reaction he may have. The truth hurts sometimes.
Coming out is always difficult, no matter who the other person is and it's the fear of the unknown that stops so many people from doing it. The pain of a bad reaction and rejection is just too much to contemplate for some people and it keeps them in the closet for a long, long time. Personally, I think there is greater damage in hiding your true self from the world though. After coming out, I lost people who I once loved and cared for, but I've also made new friends and built new relationships with people who have given me far more than I ever lost. If someone really loves you they will never reject you or walk away from you. Remind yourself of that as it is a significant factor in the healing process.
I may not have been inlove with my ex but I loved him very deeply. Even though he was a crappy husband I thought he was a good friend. They are 2 different things. While I was married it was hard to see that. We both married for the wrong reasons. Which came out in all the ugliness. The thing that ruined our friendship was the divorce process itself. Yes I still love him but the trust is gone. I will try to remember he once wrote that he was proud of me for coming out.
