So I've been browsing the last few days trying to get the courage to post something. Not sure if this is the correct protocol. My girlfriend of 9 years decided that our relationship isn't healthy anymore and she just wants to be roommates. I wasn't ready to split and now not sure where I go from here. Where does anyone go to just find lesbian friends to talk to or hang out and work through all this?
I think this forum is a good place to start. I am sorry to hear your relationship has ended. Breakups are never easy and I think the longer you are with someone the harder it can be. how do you feel about what she said? It seems strange to think you could break up and then stay together as room mates. Did you see problems with the relationship? I don't know where you are from but there are bound to be some services in your area where you can talk things through. Maybe try googling lesbian support services and see what you can find. There are probably social groups in your area. In the mean time please keep talking here. Its such a great place for support.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! I'm glad you've decided to post. I'd ask, why do you have to chat about this with lesbians? Your situation isn't unique to lesbians - it is fairly universal. One person falls out of love, decides they want out, other person has to figure out what to do with their life after 9 years. I think gay men and straight people could all relate. Is she interested in couples counselling? Maybe you could work with someone to figure out what the issue is and work on it. You might consider counselling alone for you to - to help you figure out what you want to do going forward. Personally, I don't think I could stay on as a 'room mate'. That would be too hard.
Yes, breaking up is a universal issue. It is difficult to break up whoever you are but there are different challenges as a lesbian when you break up - like the fact that she wanted to be roommates. I didn't know if that was a common practice to continue to be roommates. And like the fact that she is friends with all of her ex's and wants to continue to be friends. Not quite sure what that is about, but at this point I can't possibly imagine my life without her. I think I thought if she still wanted to be roommates then there was still a chance that she would want to get back together. Advice about how to deal with family that will be thrilled that we broke up so that I can find my real love which of course will be a man. Other couples that break up don't have to deal with that piece. We've got a circle of "our" friends but I thought now would be a good time to make some new friends - especially since very few are gay/lesbian.
