How do I let her go?

sorry you wont. You LOVE her it sucks but that's the reality of it. You need closure! You and her need to get together and fiqure out what happened - Did she have the same feelings for you. Is there a possibility of friendship or are we just done forever.

.She probably thinks and feels the same about you, your both to scared to confront eachother.
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If she doesn't want to talk to you/ make her.
I believe confronting each other whether its negative or positive or neutral will help you both a lot!
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But if this is something you just cant do.... then continue to live your life. Accept that the world keeps on turning no matter what you do and $%it happens. And maybe this experience you can use as a learning experience for life.
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but u should just talk to each other

 

Aw, this must be really hard. I can kind of relate, I had a best friend in high school whom I cared for a lot. I'm not sure if I loved her like I would in a romantic relationship, but I do miss her an awful lot.

You need to move on with your life and not spend so much time alone. Being on here is fine but it cannot be your only source of social support. We humans are social people and its important we have real life contact with other people, otherwise we dwell on the last contact we had (your friend/husband).

I know its hard, but as difficult as it is; go live your life and hopefully one day you will meet someone who helps you forget all about her

 

I agree ideally a meet up to just her your side of the story would be good but if this isn't possible you could perhaps send her a letter, sometimes getting your point of view out gives you some closure.

Also keeping yourself busy can help, maybe your could join a group or start a new hobby.

 

Being sad is understandable. Were you to confront her I think you would need to look at it from a I am telling you this to get it off my chest point of view, rather than I am asking in the hope of getting something from you in return. However I do understand it would be hard for you.

Sometimes closing the door and moving forward is the best thing to do.

 

Penpal, I have been in a breakup with my gf for months. Finally I had to tell myself to disengage. I know you want closure and answers... But I am here to tell you they do not help. Pain is pain. Disengage. It's the best way for you and her to move forward.

 

I second Lovetoski's post, there will pain to endure...but remember this:

 

I, myself has been asking the same question over and again... When you found the answers of how you can let her go, will you update me so I can try if that would help me as well...

I hope it's that easy to just let go someone you really love...

I do really feel you, and I hope we can make it through... Cheers!

 

My thought is would you leave your husband for her? Cause if not then I'm not seeing how you even have a right to be upset

 

If I were your husband I would send flowers to a girl in a pub too it seems you're very confused and he knew of your feelings for this girl of course he's going to move on he knows you have feelings for someone else

 

I'm just saying you are dumbfounded that you're husband is off at the bars but you have feelings for this girl and are still mad he's hitting on other girls?? He's pretty much doing exactly what you're doing it seems from what I'm reading if it happened years ago and you started developing feelings for someone else than why are you still with your husband?

 

Penpal, I agree, you did nothing wrong.
I say this because like myself, you were/are sexually attracted to you husband but it just so happened that you have feelings for someone of the same sex (as many married hetero women could have for the opposite sex), but you didn't act on it. Ended a marriage is painful and I'm sure you tried your best to hang on as best as possible.

You did nothing wrong, your husband however, please forgive me for passing judgement is still married and "dating" someone else. You never cheated. I don't see how you could be at fault here...

 

Your husband's behavior is NOT your fault. It is his choice. I never cheated on my ex - he had a girlfriend before we were legally separated. He told everyone I was gay and he got support and sympathy from everyone.
For months before that I had tried to save our marriage but it ate at my soul. Every day felt like I was doing time. He wanted me to be bisexual. I'm not. I did love him. I just was never in love with him.
I'm sorry your hurting so much. (*hug*)(*hug*)