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When to start divorce?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Paul13, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. Paul13

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Bloemfontein, South Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I have been married for 20 years and is slowly appearing from the closet. I had been giving, not so subtle, hints towards my wife for about a year and a half after falling in love with my single, closeted 29 year old neighbor. I told my wife 3 months ago about my sexual orientation and moved to my own apartment 2 months ago. I have broken off all contact with my wife and the guy I had fallen in love with to give a clear message to my wife, and give my friend the space he asked for.

    Somehow I could still not get myself to initiate divorce proceedings. I am clear that I have chosen the right path and still sometimes long to return to my previous life. My wife tells family that she wants me back in her life, but I know she feels differently, at least most of the time.

    Is it better to get the divorce over and done with so that I could really start my new life, or when is the right time?
    Hoping to hear from those who have progressed further along this road.
     
  2. Choirboy

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Out to everyone
    I told my wife 6 months ago, and we are still living together, no divorce yet, for a variety of reasons. It's wearing thin for me, because my outlook is changing so rapidly, although not so much for her, because she gets the same financial and emotional perks she always did. If you're already out on your own, I personally wouldn't waste any time on it. Not to sound heartless (and I am reminding myself of this as much as you), but if you're clear in your heart that you have chosen the right path, then you owe it to yourself to follow through with it.

    You hear that, Choirboy??? :bang::roflmao:
     
  3. StillAround

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    I agree with Choirboy. It sounds like you want to move on, and you're already living on your own. Have you discussed divorce with your wife? Maybe that's the first step--put it on the table so she knows that you intend to live an authentic life--and then move forward. There isn't a one-size-fits-all timeline, but it does sound as if you're ready.

    /Ed. (*hug*)