Can one person really love a another? As we grow we learn about it, we learn to love our parents first and our siblings. We meet people along the way to whom we become very attached to. Family love exists, I know that, I feel it. But can love for another be real? How can someone love a person that for most of their life was a complete stranger? I recently had my heart ripped to pieces by someone who said they loved me and I was the love of their life. How can love end if it's supposed to be stronger than anything? (or so it appears). Maybe I am just hurting, but I cannot understand why love can end, without love what is there?
Love is a strange feeling. I don't like what I call romantic love... you know when you are madly and deeply in love with someone that you forget everthing and loose your footing in life. Other than that you can love one another alright. That romantic love however is like a disease, it blinds you... especially to bad sides of your object of affection. When fever has passed people start to see those bad sides and realize their mistakes. Change is a part of life and in time we change, or likes and dislikes change, this unfortunately sometimes include people we love... not only lovers but friends or family members as well. So I think being friends more than lovers is more important in a relationship. Love is more selfish while friendship is more selfless. Umm... okay not my best post but those are things spring into my mind. Hope those will give you somethings to ponder. Hugs.
Absolutely. Love is real. All of life is a sine wave. If you can utterly hate/despise you can just as intensely love/embrace. Like summer follows winter. Ton
Oh it's real all right. I am both in love and love someone very deeply right now. I think that fact is utterly terrifying, but I can't seem to stop myself. I just hope they don't give up on me, as I really really care about who they are, not for their orientation, not for their gender, but for who they are on the inside. I am so incredibly scared, but it has been the most spiritually and emotionally fulfilling experience of my life, despite all the pain. For me it's not even about sex, and I really could care less about that, although the desire is there. It's more that this person understands me from to the deepest core of my being, and I think it scares them as much as it scares me. Even if things don't work out I don't want to lose them in my life. Absolutely terrifying.
Love exists. If it didn't you wouldn't feel like your heart was broken. A sure sign that you are in love is when your heart is broken and you can't let it go and move on. I am in that situation. My heart is broken but the person I love probably doesn't give me a second thought. I wake up and she is in my thoughts, just as she is throughout the day and before I go to sleep. Yes love exists the problem is when the person you love doesn't love you back. Then love just sucks.
That is very very true. I'm probably just hurting bad and hopefully once this passes I can see love for what it is instead of complaining about it being a bad thing
Well, it feels silly to reassure you...clearly you're aware that many, many people feel that love (beyond familial love) exists...if that doesn't convince you, I'm not sure any argument can. You ask how someone can love a person who was for most of their life a complete stranger. I've been with my partner for well over half of my life. So this "strangerness" is a condition you outgrow if you stay together long enough. You say you know family love exists because you feel it. Did you not feel love for this person who ripped your heart out? Does that not prove it to you in the same way? Are you now invalidating that feeling as love, simply because it wasn't returned or was eventually treated poorly? Just some thoughts to consider. I am very sorry that you're hurting. But don't try to invalidate one of life's most wonderful and painful emotions just because you're in the painful phase right now. I like Skiff's notion of the sine wave...you're in a trough right now...but know (as a certainty) that there will be another peak...and other troughs...and other peaks. Life is the most sucky and fabulous thing that will ever happen to you! *hugs*
Oh Sweetie, Love is real. I believe this so truly. Love is real between 2 people. It's not the love that is the issue, but the person themselves. Some people really believe they are in love and discover that they aren't later down the line. This could of been what happen to you. Your partner really believed she loved you and discovered she didn't, thus, the relationship ended. Yes, people over use the 'love' aspect and play others with it, but that may or may not be what happen in your relationship. It really is an issue with the person and not love. Love is real. Hang in there. The pain will heal and you will grow and learn and find new love. Love that may last as you want it to. Never give up on love. In a million rejections, it only takes one to make it all worth it. You'll find the one.
I've just had my heart broken too recently. Hearing "I don't love you anymore", "maybe it was never that deep love" from someone who used to tell you that you were "perfect" and the "love of your life" is one of the worst experiences ever. But what made it such a bad experience was the love I felt. Over the past few months I also felt like maybe love isn't real & just doomed to disappear. But I'm coming out of that slowly. I think love has many forms, and different levels, maybe we are just yet to experience the full potential it has. Let's hope we do
<----This!! I agree with you! If it isn't real then why are trying so hard to find it??. It is real as much as your feelings are real. No one can explain what love really is but it is one of the reasons why we exist in the first place.
Love is indeed real- it is the only thing in life that really matters in the end, and that makes it the most beautiful thing but also the most terrifying for many people. but there are some things you have to know * love is not enough. you can both be in love but due to one or both peoples issues they cannot be together. *love is not the fairy tale it- that is wishful thinking. you do not fall in love and live happily ever after, you fall in love and then the ride begins. * the trite old adage is true- you must love yourself first, because if you do not you cannot really believe or accept that another loves you. you will always doubt yourself (am if good enough, do they really love me, do i deserve this). *when people leave it is very often more about them than us. maybe they couldn't handle it, to scared, didn't think enough of themselves... also watch out for people who start the "well its all your fault game"... a few faults about yourself are ok to hear bc you learn from them, but a string of your faults and no taking responsibility for themselves is a sign that this person is just going to blame you to cover up their own the strange thing is that when your ex "said he loved me and I was the love of his life"- they most likely meant it. But either it was transitory or they couldn't handle it... maybe didn't think they deserve it. and never underestimate the number of people out there who sabotage themselves bc they have bad self esteem and feel they need/deserve to suffer. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SHOW UP, GIVE OF YOURSELF, AND HOPE THAT THIS PERSON YOU LOVE CAN DO THE SAME, BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO AND, IF THEY LEAVE, YOU CANNOT BLAME YOURSELF. YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP AND SAY "IN THIS WORLD OF CHEATERS AND USERS AND ILLUSIONISTS I GAVE LOVE AND THATS NOT SUCH A BAD THING" final thought- in any love, enjoy the wonderful but remember that, like life, ending is sometimes a natural part of love. yes it will hurt like hell. ease into the hurt. cry and grieve and treat yourself well bc you have lost something and it hurts. but know that you will grow stronger from the experience and, once you have walked through that fire, you will know there is NOTHING that you cannot survive bc if you survived that you have survived the worst. best wishes on your journey, but don't think love is not real. you will find it again some day.
So sorry that you are going through this...I hope things get better for you soon...many hugs to you (*hug*)
