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"Out" in Public

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by tscott, Mar 22, 2014.

  1. tscott

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    Tonight, I'll be singing with the Rochester Gay Men's Chorus.

    I've sung for weddings, church choirs, musical theatre, and even a madrigal choir so this will not be a new experience for me singing. I have no solos. I didn't try out for any.

    Through all the rehersals I actually never gave much thought to the performance and what it meant. It was enough to be with a group of men who like to sing and make new friends. As someone newly out, it also was nice to see something of other gay men apart from the bars.

    It's not a full concert tonight there are other groups involved. The venue is the Jewish Community Centre. The audience is also not likely to be largely gay, as next Saturday's performance will be. This began to resonate with me. This wasn't my merely singing in a chorus. This is my public debut as a gay man.

    I realise now that I'm not just one of several tenor 1's. My name will be printed in the program. I'm standing in the front row, not a face in the back. There may be people in the audience who know me, but don't know I'm gay. I'll be a representative for the gay community as well. This is a bigger deal than the actual concert.

    I will have put myself out there for everyone to see, and I don't have problem with it. There's still so much I have to learn and in which I will need support, but with this I can say, "I am a proud gay man." Let the chips fall where they may. :smilewave
     
  2. Electra

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    Sing your heart!!

    ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 11:29 PM ----------

    Sing your heart out!!! ( i meant to say)… have a great proud gay evening..
     
  3. Pete1970

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    As they say "break a leg"

    Congratulations on another milestone
     
  4. StillAround

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    Tim,

    Good for you! In this vein, I have a story to share, too...

    I go to a weekly support group here, and they connected me with an older guy (hard to believe there is one, huh?) because they thought we'd hit it off. He's 76, a widower for 7 years, and out for only 3. We met for lunch yesterday. He gave me his rainbow wristband and a single red rose as gifts, and we talked over lunch for 90 minutes, and then went for a 40-minute walk in a very public area, but 100 miles from his home.

    I told him to put out his hand, and I held it for the entire walk. We stopped for a while and I just hugged him, rubbed his back, and rested my head on his shoulder. I pushed him, I think, past his comfort zone. But I, too, had reached that point. I am a proud gay man. I am tribe. And I am standing up.

    Good luck with your concert!

    Love You, Ed.
     
  5. Steam Mecha

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  6. Pete1970

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    Hi Ed,

    That is sucj a sweet story,

    Im glad you found someone that you connect with
     
  7. sagebrush

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    Wonderful stories, Tim and Ed — thank you for sharing them! :slight_smile:
     
  8. biAnnika

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    Wow, Scotty, how cool! I'm glad that you recognized the significance of this ahead of time, and had time to prepare yourself mentally...at bit at least.

    Of course your first "public out" was just *going* to this chorus...joining. But this is a huge step, and an important one...and it sounds like you have exactly the right attitude going into it.

    Of course, now it's in the past, too...so how did it go??
     
  9. Choirboy

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    Tim - Even more than a representative of the gay community, you are a representative of yourself, and who you are, and how far you have come. This is an amazing journey of self-acceptance, and every time we do something that we might not have done a few months ago, we win! I came out to my first person over a year ago, but I've done things in the past few weeks that have stretched my expectations of how far I would go to just be myself, because I've stopped caring if people react. It's an incredible feeling. Be very, very proud of yourself!
     
  10. StillAround

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    Thanks, Pete.

    It may not even be a strong connection. It's just a connection--it's two friends sharing a moment of intimacy, and I'll be damned if I'll hide it or be ashamed of it!

    (*hug*)
     
  11. Brave Prince

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    Amazing, both of you!
     
  12. StillAround

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    I take that as a compliment, BP, so thank you.

    /Ed. (*hug*)
     
  13. tscott

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    It was amazing. I knew there'd be one person (and I had already come out to her) who'd be in the audience, but I ended up knowing about five other people and their spouses, and they only know me as part of a straight couple. So it was a real outing, this now hits my work place and socially. I never thought I'd be on stage singing "We Will Overcome" and that the words would apply to me. WOW.
     
  14. StillAround

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    WOW is right, Tim!

    (&&&)
     
  15. Pete1970

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    Tim - glad it went well .It must be a great feeling


    Ed - A connection is a connection, doesn't matter how big or small
     
  16. wolfxinxchains

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    That would be sorta cool to come see the performance(s?) but I'm too far away and my parents would be like: nope. hahaha I love choirs I'm in (middle) school and I do choir and orchestra and I used to do band. I just love music.
     
  17. PeteNJ

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    I was in the city yesterday, with the guy I'm seeing and a bunch of his oldest (!), closest friends at a book reading. I was In The front row with his kids, and him. He put his hand on my leg, I held his arm, we held hands.

    Sweet. Really. I could have imagined this, or be with someone I care so much about, am cared for, and meeting his friends for the first time, not a moments hesitation at showing affection for each other. :slight_smile:
     
  18. StillAround

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    Pete, I think this is where we all need to be to truly accept ourselves. We have to believe that this is our right as human beings, to express our feelings openly because, truly, there's nothing wrong with any of us.

    And what a feeling, really, to feel so comfortable in our own skins, at last, after all these years! Something to be savored, for sure! (&&&)

    As skiff likes to say, "We are tribe."

    Congratulations! (*hug*)