Do all gay guys leave their home town?

it depends how big your home town is. I lived in a small place 20,000 people and it was very claustrophobic. Also I knew no other gay people, and I was totally closeted ... I had to get out in my 20s.

Your town may be big enough that there's at least some 'scene' of sorts?? maybe put your armour on 'give it a try' and see if you can make a go of it ???

 

I plan on leaving my hometown (no it's not really Atlanta ) ASAP. I hate it here. Too many homophobes and southern raised baptists, yuck :c

 

I live in a small town, 10,000ish people. I know that I am not gay, but my twin sister is and she has moved back home. She might leave for work, but that is about it. We live in a very poor area and it has only gotten worse since the mills pulled out. The poverty rate for my town is 10.1%. The "big" city if you count a 66,000 people a big city, has the highest concentrated poverty in the country, the poverty rate is 35.6% with a concentrated poverty rate of 49.5%. So if either of us leave it is to get a better job, because there is nothing left here.

 

I sorta don't plan on leaving my hometown or leaving for somewhere that is not close by. I sort of like it where I'm from and plan to teach either in my home school district or the school district in the city where I go to college.

 

Well my home town (or at least the town I've lived in since I was 8) seems OK. I only plan to leave if I HAVE to.

It's out in the country, I can see stars, it's usually quiet. Why would I move?

 

People leave their hometowns for a lot of reasons. I know that with my profession, I will have to leave because there are not any jobs for it in my hometown. Now, does my area being conservative play into me wanting to leave, for sure it does. But that's not the main reason that I want to leave.

I'm at a point now were my whole family knows that I am trans* and there are only very few people that I need to come out to now. It was a scary process, but in the end, it was one that was worth it for me, because most of my family has been very accepting.

 

Your mother wanted you to be closer. You have to tell her what you're going through.

 

I moved to the next bigger city (80km away) at 20 for my studies and stayed there with interruptions, but I kept my circle of friends in my home-town. These "home-town-friends" were the ones I came out to first, so I could easily imagine to move back to my home-town, even though it is very small (~10'000) and has no gay scene.

Why move away and "dispose of" all your friends? My experience is that it takes a lot of effort and time to build up a good/reliable/trustworthy circle of friends. Coming out to existing friends takes quite a bit of courage, but it is done much quicker than finding new ones!

 

I moved out of the small city (30,000) where I grew up to a bigger city 18 miles away. In the small town everyone was closeted. The bigger city has a decent gay scene. I also moved to be closer to college.

 

The town i live in now sucks. Its kinda small but not if that makes sense. And most people are
right-wing nut jobs. And speaking of jobs, there aren't to many of those either. I would move if my family wasn't here.

 

I don't think ALL gay men do, but I certainly don't blame them.

I live in the metro Atlanta area in a city very close to Atlanta, but I don't like people knowing exactly where I live, so I just say Atlanta.
There are a shit-ton of homophobic asshats throughout Georgia though, even in Atlanta!

I'm joining the AmeriCorps in a couple years and I'm going to Denver, CO. If I like it enough, I might stay there permenently.

 

Not all but most do

 

I'm at the beginning of the journey you describe. I came out to my wife just over 2 weeks ago and we are working through the divorce process amicably. I'm staying in the area, we both have good jobs and the kids like their schools.

We are not telling the kids why we are divorcing right now primarily due to age and maturity. I have no qualms about telling them the truth once they are able to grasp the ramifications for themselves about discretion. My wife has told her family why and they have been incredibly accepting of the situation. I honestly expected to get angry phonecalls or emails, but instead I've still been invited for easter dinner. No idea if I will go, I have to think it over and talk to my wife about how she feels.

There are a few people.at work that now know we are divorcing and why. I'm not going around advertising it, its just largely irrelevant for the workplace.

I have no qualms about holding hands, hugging or kissing my best friend in public. There is no room for games in my life. Nothing graphic like making out, but simple signs of affection like any hetero couple are fair game in my book. If people don't want to see it, look somewhere else, same as I do with girls walking around dressed like tramps.

As far as gay culture is concerned, I just don't buy that notion. It is a different kind of closet foisted on gays by the straight majority. People go to bars and get drunk. People engage in promiscuity and serial monogamy. People do drugs. People catch and transmit std's. There's really no difference in gay or straight culture. The difference is people choose to ignore or celebrate this behavior in straight circles, while holding up gays who do the same thing for condemnation and ridicule.

If you choose to participate in activities, that is your choice. Just live your life in a way that you respect yourself and others will then respect you for that. The only person whose opinion of you that truly matters is yourself. You're the one who looks back at you in the mirror. Will you like what you see?

---------- Post added 24th Mar 2014 at 05:06 PM ----------

I did leave my hometown though, but for employment reasons beyond just the homophobic nature of my hometown particularly at that time. It.is somewhat better now, but I could never live there even if I didn't need to work.

 

This is a compelling question.
I think there are a lot of confounders: education and career in particular.

In the US, it's common to go away to college/university, so most everyone from my school left town. A handful have moved back, but most of us have stayed in larger cities for career reasons.

In my case, my family lives in five countries, so the presence in my "home town" is just my parents. And they're never home anyway.

If one has an established family, especially with children or an opposite-sex spouse, I think that leaving town might ease some of the emotional burden. But that's an individual decision.

 

I am facing the same issues Smallish town of 100,000 people I meet people here I've known for years constantly. I realise the problem is mainly internal so I'm reluctant to move mainly as I'm a bit self conscious and I've been drinking too much recently and doing stupid things in public that I'm afraid people might see and getting a bit paranoid. Whole thing is traumatic think I need time.

 

I left for school and then my school town for a job.

My fiance left his hometown for a job.

 

I'll probably leave Michigan, maybe even America. I hate Michigan.