My relationship with my girlfriend just ended a few weeks ago :icon_sad:. We were together for 5 years. Prior to that and prior to coming out I was dating a guy. Sad to say I "used" him as a decoy to hide who I was. Our relationship ended but everyone in my family really likes this guy (my parents especially). We broke up and since he was good friends with my entire family he'd still come over the house and hang out with my brothers. I came out to my family (not my dad) and my sister told him - my ex- that I came out. He asked how long I've known and I told him I knew for a very very long time. It's very uncomfortable when I see him. So now that he knows my girlfriend and I broke up he's been coming by to visit a lot more frequently. He tries to talk to me, small talk mostly but one question made me very angry "are you still a lesbian" :eusa_naug to what I said "do you still have b***s?" :icon_redf He found that funny. Anyway I am not sure what to do. I tried telling my mom that I don't feel comfortable around him. I feel like they all support HIM more than me. Can anyone relate?
That must be really difficult for you having to see him with your family all the time. Is he trying to get back together with you? Your family should respect you and your opinion and at least ask him to come over less, he's not part of the family...you are. Has he been coming to their house ever since you broke up? I can't relate, but i am here to listen and try to give advice. Sorry, i can't offer much more than an open ear.
I think he's trying to get back with you by coming to the house , I would be upset if my family let an ex come to the house all the time part of me also thinks the reason their letting him come over is in hopes you take him back and we will turn you straight . my two cents
First of all you know that guy good I guess as you dated you will know his motivations better than anyone. However as he is a threat to your current free status you might see things with prejudice. When he said "Are you still a lesbian?" was he joking? As he laughed your come back he might be. That means he is trying to build the bridges with you. However if he is trying to be your friend or get you back as his girlfriend is still unclear... probably to you as well because I get the feeling you are avoiding him. While it is not my place I would advice you to talk with him openly and fairly. If you like him as a person and friend you can tell him you still care and respect him but not in love with him anymore and never will. If he wants to be friends with you it will take time as you still couldn't forgive yourself for decieving him.... okay better not put words in anyone's mouth. I think you get my meaning. You were telling how you can straighten up your life, here is your first chance. Instead of avoiding him take matters in your hands and be frank. Believe me it will make you feel much better. Hugs.
I think you need to be honest with your family. Tell them you are a lesbian and that's not going to change because you broke up with your girlfriend. Tell them you need their support and by bringing your ex into your home it is making things difficult. You are their child, their love for you should be unconditional. I really feel your family are letting you down at the moment. Ask for their support. I really hope they come through for you. (*hug*)
Okay just read your other thread and seems like your family still couldn't make peace with your situation. They might be dragged your ex into their delliusion. Still I think you should talk with your ex. If he can really understand your situation you might at least get one ally by your side.
