Told the children we are separating and they are devastated!

I'm not quite in the same place as you only journey but as a parent I feel your pain. You look
at the children and see them beg you but you need to think how better parent you will be living an honest and ultimately happier life. In the future they will respect you for your honesty.

As someone from divorced parents, they stuck at a marriage for so long for me and my sister I feel sad they felt they had to - it prolonged the pain for them and ultimately I have seen them much happier apart - I wish I had the insight when I was younger to offer that advice to them but it didn't.

You have got to where you are and need to press on for the sake of your entire families future. Hopefully you and your husband will see what you saw in each other again in the future as friends - he is confused and angry so maybe not being who is really is but perhaps this is the real him, either way - you need to be selfish and move on.

Good luck and keep us informed!

 

Penpal that's really hard. I can imagine the conflicting emotions you are feeling right now. Sending hugs and best wishes your way.

 

I do feel for you its hard I know. My husband left last Monday after him only moving back a month and a half ago. Within a couple of days of him moving back (after a year and a half of us being apart) I knew it was wrong and it will never work. He really wanted to stay but there is just too much baggage left from his affair. I have been married twice. My first I split from my first husband about 14 years ago. I was single for a year and then I met my 2nd husband. We have been married since 2001 but he had an affair about 2 and a half years ago, we tried 3 times now to make it work for the kids but it doesn't and to be honest him having his affair made me challange myself. It has been hard on the kids but after realizing life goes on and goes on quite well with us apart they got used to the idea. I have two kids from my first marriage and two from my 2nd. Being a single mum of four is hard but to be honest I so much prefer it. I am my own person without that constand doubt that he will lie and go off to screw another. He can do what he likes now, I don't care. I am happy and I am sure once things settle with you you will be too. Hugs to you xx

 

It is one of the hardest things to do - tell your kids that you and your spouse are separating. You feel like you are ruining their life.

But you're not.

You know that you haven't arrived at this decision lightly - that it is the best thing for everyone involved. Focus your energies on the kids - on making this as easy as possible for them.

 

Sorry your children didn't take the news so well and that your husband is being like that. Maybe it is just the anger like jezza said and this is how he's dealing with it. Hopefully after some time goes by you two can work things out and be friends. Do your kids know the reason for the separation?