Yesterday, I went to visit a LGBT center in a nearby Undisclosed City. It's been on my to do list for about a year. It takes me a while to get around to things, which reminds me I've got that pile of dishes from May, 1992 that should be washed... :lol: Actually, the location is enough of a pain to get to that it was something I kept putting off. And there was no hugely compelling reason to make a special effort. But...I decided a day of doing something would be good. And I figured they might have some ideas for my therapist hunt. It's a nice place they had. And they did a good job giving me references. They have a prepared listing that is more than just a list of names and phone numbers. But...I left feeling a little frustrated about one thing. It comes back to a problem I quite likely have already bitched about: the limited real world resources in this area for someone in my position. That Undisclosed City is large. I am not sure how large, but it's certainly one of the largest in Washington. And yet...there is apparently so little for the 40-something gay male. Even less for the 40-something gay male who only came out to himself in the last year. They had only ONE suggestion for a group. That group meets on a night that is bad, plus I am not sure that the group really meets what I need at this time. I'll look into it further, of course, and I may go over just for the experience if I get a clear evening. (And the courage to drive through Downtown Undisclosed City after dark!) But I keep wishing for some sort of real world support groups that actually address what I'm going through... At least, I have EC. And I'm grateful for that.
It's great that you did this! Do go to that group meeting if you can, you may be pleasantly surprised, as you may not, but you won't know if you don't go!
You should check it out if you can make it, support groups are freakin awesome and can really help you feel a lot better.
I say you should go too. Like you i had a hard time finding things also, but i found a bisexual group. Although not exactly what i was looking for, the other people there were extremely caring and supportive. Last time a guy there recommended a gay hiking group which i joined and will be going to in 2 weeks. But without meeting him, i would never of known about the other group. i guess i am saying that even if the group isnt exactly what you are looking for, it could lead to other possibilites
I will at least look into that group further. As I said, from what I see, their focus and mission are different than what I need. But...while the group has a focus that is not what I need, there may be some value. At least real world interaction with other gay men. We'll see what happens. It will be at least 3 weeks before I could go. I just wish that there was something more in line with where I am...
BMC77, I contacted the LGBT Center, possibly in the same city. They were incredibly nice, but just sort of shrugged. I don't fit into any of their "niches." I'm not 14, not an alcoholic, not transgendered. I even asked if they ever needed volunteers, and they acted a bit like they didn't know what to do with me. I ended up having dinner with a woman who was formerly on the board. She was an interesting person, and I met her family. But we were very much from different worlds. I'm still glad that you went. But I absolutely recognize how it might not have been as gratifying as you might have hoped. At least the sun is out.
Quite possibly. :lol: That's how I felt about my experience. Of course, I am glad those groups are getting support. But I really wish there was some sort of classic "coming out" group in between the AA meeting and the MPowerment group they have. Too bad. You'd have a lot to offer. Although...you might find yourself getting stuck being Dr. BlueSky on your volunteer hours. :lol: Volunteers were one weakness I saw yesterday. I talked with one volunteer while I waited for the referrals list to be printed. And, while he was nice, the conversation didn't seem to flow smoothly. I can only speculate why. I made a bad impression somehow? He could sense I'm not in the best place emotionally right now? He is young, and doesn't feel comfortable talking to someone old enough to be his father? Whatever. It just didn't go smoothly. And...I have to wonder. What if I had gone there a year ago before joining EC? And had that sort of experience? Would I have left, and decided to just on on with denial? ---------- Post added 12th Apr 2014 at 05:19 PM ---------- Sun. What is this sun thing? [BMC77 quickly Googles.] Oh! It's that strange bright thing in the sky where the gray usually is. :lol:
BMC77, When I lived in California, I used to volunteer at a free clinic that was almost exclusively used by gay and bisexual men. I don't think I ever made any absolute lifelong friends there, but I felt more "connected." There were plenty of awkward, young volunteers... just like the one you described. For me, it's easier to volunteer or go to a meetup of some kind if we have an actual mission and purpose in mind. As an aside, they used to joke about my Midwestern sensibilities at the clinic. I had a rapid-fire introduction to sexual terms I'd never heard. They also used to assign me to all of the straight guys ("Quick! Who is the butchest guy here? Get Dr. BlueSky224!") That used to crack me up.
