I don't know where to go or who to talk to. I feel really trapped and scared. So scared that I have been throwing up all morning and unable to eat. I need to leave my marriage, I have no choice, it's taking too much of a toll on me. I have been married for 5 years and with my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children together. Over the past year or 2 I have concluded that I am better off with another woman. I still have feelings for men and sometimes they do confuse me, but my feelings for women are much stronger and more sustainable. I'm in the process of writing my husband a letter explaining my feelings to him. I'm terrified and I have my kids to take care of. Our youngest is only 20 months and still very needy. I'm having a really hard time taking care of them. There is no one to help me. My parents will not understand that I'm suffering nor will they understand that I'd rather be with another woman. I have no friends. All I want to do is connect with other lesbians. I want to feel like I can relate to people. I need to explore my life and see what will make me happy. I feel like I'm dying.
There are a lot of people here who will be able to offer you advice and support. We will be able to help you. if ever you need to talk about your feelings you can write down everything here. people will help you through the process of coming out and making sense of your feelings.
Hi xx we are here for you. You will cope, you have kiddies which need you but you need you to be you too. I am a little bit further down this path than you so I know sort of what you are going through. I have four kids and I am now single. Now that I am single I feel so much more at peace. I feel that I can truely find myself now without that guilt of should I shouldn't I. This roller coaster made me sick! made me turn to drink, made me a person I just didn't like. Now I am relaxed and happy.. Ok its hard with four kids to look after but I am me, I can be myself now. Its so much better for me now. Please read through my old posts so you know where I am coming from and add me as a friend if you would like to chat more. Take care of yourself. Hope everything goes smoothly and calm for you. xx
Toronto has a large and supportive LGBT community, too... so you've also got resources for support close to home.
Thank you very much for your support. I'm actually really scared of my thoughts, especially the ones I have for my kids, I kind of resent them sometimes, I just want to be free and explore who I am. It just seems like I have been going back and forth with my feelings for each sex for so long but being with a woman feels so much better and lasting. I just don't know how I'm going to explain this to my husband. He's been my best friend for so long, and it hurts so much to think of him going away
Hi Browneyed girl, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am currently separating from my husband. We have been together for 19 years and married for 10. I have 2 boys who are 6 and 9. We have had problems for about 4 years now on and off and I started to spend time with a friend and realised I had more in common with her than with my husband who always seemed to be angry with me and the children. He spent a lot of time away and out drinking. Nothing happened with my friend but I realised these feelings were very strong. I chose to try and save our marriage as i love my husband and we had such good times in the past. I told him I was bi in November. At first he was supportive and said he loved me more. A month layer he turned on me and started staying out drinking all night. He started seeing someone else and threatened to out me to everyone. He has threatened to get custody of my kids and to take all my money. I have seen a solicitor and he can't thank goodness. The hurt is unbearable, I never thought he would be so horrible. I wish I hadn't spent so long fighting for my marriage. My marriage is over and my friend won't talk to me. I can't live a lie anymore. I don't want another relationship anytime soon. My heart is for my children now. Sorry this isn't a story of hope, I just want you to know you are not alone. If you want to talk you can message me anytime. Stay strong. (*hug*) x
My wife and I split up in December, and we have a 3yo daughter. Resenting the kids is normal, just remember that its a feeling that will pass with time. You really need to tell hubby though, nothing can get better till you do. He probably already knows something's wrong but doesn't know what to do, and he might even have his suspensions. Just tell him that you need him to listen and keep an open mind, and then open up your heart. Remember that he's going to feel very rejected so be gentle and tell him you love him before you drop the bombs.
