...Where do I start: 1. I'm no longer going to move into someone's house. Wasn't comfortable moving into someone else's house with the dog and having the kids over. Both the house and the roommate were too fussy. 2. Found an apartment in a great part of the city. The kitchen's a bit pokey, but I wasn't planning on dinner parties for 12 any time soon. 3. The big news is that the mediation papers are all signed and being filed for the divorce decree. I'm having a bit of a hard time of it. I thought it would be like a weight being lifted, but it just feels sad, bittersweet. 25 yrs and is over in 3 hrs at a lawyer's office. It feels hollow. 4. Had an audition for a solo in the chorus. 5. I think the guy who works in my dry cleaers was flirting with me, and he's in his 20's, felt kind of special. 6. Had date for drinks, but found out he has a long-standing boyfriend, but they have a "open relationship". What the Hell am I supposed to do with that? 7. Packing to move out, another rollercoaster ride. Do you keep the books with expressions of undying love. What about your old love letters? Then I got into the old cd's. You know, I feel like Elaine Stritch singing "I'm Still Here" from Follies. For what it's worth that's what's new. I welcome all comment. opinions, attitudes... What do need is some sleep at this point.:sleep:
Intense is a good word for the past week. I've been going through a lot of interrogations from my wife lately--she has apparently started coming out of her denial that anything is changing, although she still doesn't seem to grasp the concept of accepting some responsibility for either the past or the future. That will be a challenge. Then last night, I had a nice evening with a special guy under the guise of "going out with the choir after Mass". Got home quite late, and decided to be honest about who I was with. It prompted a lot of drama, questions, accusations, and general unpleasantness, but it needed to happen, and I'm hoping it pushed her a little closer to working on a final solution. I'm reluctant to push too hard if she's not ready, but the fact is that I AM ready, so we need to start talking (even if it's loud and painful) to get to a solution. Sounds like your week was eventful and it's taking you in new and exciting directions. Maybe places you weren't fully ready to to--but sometimes it has to be that way. I'm proud of you, Tim. Change isn't easy, but it can lead in unexpected and wonderful directions. John
I see some positives and negatives in your week. How do you feel about things, over all? On the open relationship thing, I wouldn't go there. Just my personal feeling, but it wouldn't do for me. Hope things settle a bit soon.
Wow! That is a lot! I have no great advice, other than my support from afar. Your description of hollowness sounds unpleasant but not terrible. In other words, It's almost reassuring to hear you say that you feel empty rather than devastated. It sounds from your post like you're somewhat past the pain and moved on to technicalities. I'm sure that's not absolute. A pleasant and non-judgmental "it was nice to meet you" would be my suggestion for handling the open relationship. I've managed to screen those out in advance, but it's become more common, and it's not something I"m ready to handle. When this came up with a straight family member, many reminded me to not to be judgmental about it. It does work for some people. Selective mementos from your marriage wouldn't be so bad, I hope. Maybe there are a few items that will remind you of happy times. But keeping a large supply seems a bit unhelpful. That's just me trying to put myself in your shoes. I urge you to buy "dry clean only" clothes from now on.
