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Gay Lifestyle: A Common Thread

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by biAnnika, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. biAnnika

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    Hey all...I was reading the "gay lifestyle" thread last night, and musing over this notion people seem to have that there *is* such a thing as "the" gay lifestyle, even though there is a huge amount of diversity among us.

    It occurred to me that it could be fun and educational for us each to post a summary (anything from a sentence or two to a paragraph) about our lifestyle.

    Presumably, the intersection of all our lifestyles must be the "gay lifestyle". It would, after all, be *so* nice to know what people mean when they say that!

    So I'll start...here's a window into one bisexual's lifestyle (yeah, probably best to acknowledge whether you're gay or bi or whatever, so we don't conflate the gay lifestyle with the bisexual lifestyle, lol):

    I've been partnered monogamously with a woman for the past 27.5 years. We don't go out much, really (both introverts), but we really enjoy food and cooking, and we're both reasonably active...bicycling, hiking, racquetball...a NordicTrack for when we can't bike. We're not TV or movie people...really outside pop culture. We see approximately one movie in a theater a year; in that same year we might see 2-3 additional movies we've never seen before on DVD. Our TV sits in a closet and gets watched for the Olympics, State of the Union, political debates (in season), oh, and the Superbowl (the one football game we watch in a year). We read a fair bit, and really enjoy playing games (any kind of games: card games, board games, strategy games, collaborative games, word games, role-playing games, whatever)...when we have a party or get together with friends, it's usually over a game of some sort (or food, or both). We spend a week each year at the beach (because my parents are awesome and get a room for us and for my sister's family). And we try to take at least one or two other vacations of a week or less each year...we like going to new places and having interesting experiences (e.g., biking across Scotland; hiking in Sedona, AZ; staying at a haunted Bed and Breakfast). We also have a wide and varied taste in alcohol that's worth mentioning as a lifestyle thing...most nights we'll have a drink of some kind (sometimes 2)...wine, mead (we brew our own), whiskies (especially single malt Scotches), martinis or other gin drinks, rum, bourbon, tequila...basically anything but vodka, and almost never beer(although we like beer). My partner also does some local volunteering/community participation (hopefully I'll be able to do some of that soon too in my own way).

    Bear in mind that there's a difference between lifestyle and "hobbies/interests". I've tried to keep my own summary to things that I think factor into my *lifestyle*...not just what I do or like, but how I live my life.

    So ok then, your turn...summarize what constitutes *your* lifestyle!
     
  2. BMC77

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    Interesting thread idea!

    My lifestyle, such as it is:tears: as a list:
    • Single. Never had a date with either sex. :tears:.
    • Has never had sex with another person.
    • Lives totally alone.
    • Meals mostly "get in and get it done fast." So much for the fabulous gay male cook!
    • Drinks lots of coffee
    • Does not have TV, except for watching library DVDs. Last movie seen in theater was probably the first Walden/Narnia movie (based on The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.)
    • Last vacation: was during the Ronald Reagan administration.
    • Drives used cars, and the last several have had well over 200K miles at time of purchase


    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2014 at 11:38 PM ----------

    Oh, yes, I'm a gay male.
     
    #2 BMC77, Apr 20, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2014
  3. Chiroptera

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    Very nice idea.

    Here is a small list, like BMC77 did

    -Currently in a relationship with another guy (2 weeks only, but i'm happy <3 )
    -I love playing games, like WoW and League of Legends. I'm always the "bad guy" (Death Knight, Warlock, Vladimir, Darius, etc. :grin:). I'm a total nerd
    -I love metal and rock. Avenged Sevenfold, Ozzy Osbourne and Iron Maiden are my favourites
    -I love reading. Narnia, Eragon, etc.
    -Currently in an university, seeking to be a biology teacher.
    -I love eating. The less healthy, the better (hahaha).

    That's the basics :grin:
     
  4. deejay

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    Here's how I spend my life lately :

    • Wake up, go to work then come back home and sleep
    • During weekdays, I do send morning SMS, Phone-in after coming in the office and after lunch, Phone after office works and Skype with my GF before going to bed
    • On weekend, I spend the rest of the day with my GF (either we stay in the house to do some house chores, cook, videoke, watch our fave TV series or shows or some old movies, cuddle-a-lot, snack-out, walk-out, picnic, photo session)
    • During, payday (do the budgeting for all the expenses and realizing I still have to earn more so I can save for the future)

    My conclusion : our lifestyle is no different with the straight peeps, it just sounded cool...

    Haha :lol:, I don't even know if I ever contributed on your thread... sounds like my life is becoming a routine :bang:...
     
  5. OGS

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    I am 42, have been with my partner for 16 years and feel almost like we have had two completely distinct lifestyles--we started out as fairly stereotypical gay guys and have become a certain type of stereotypical lesbians.:dry:

    I am a private banker with a major firm--my degrees are in religious studies. My partner works in retail merchandising and sells insurance on the side--his degree is in performing arts and he was a professional dancer for a number of years.

    When my partner and I met we were pretty standard circuit clones--minus the drug use I suppose, although we did drink a fair amount. Both of us went out dancing and the like a good five or six times a week--I know I used to keep body glitter in five shades.:lol: We both were sexually active--very active--play safe, play hard!:lol:

    Since then we bought a home and moved from the young gay neighborhood to the more mature gay neighborhood. We are monogamous. We go out in the sense of clubbing maybe once or twice a month--we still enjoy it but as we get older it just seems like so much work. We don't really drink any more--we don't not drink but it's really occasional and generally more like a glass of wine with dinner now. We putter around the house a lot, we like cooking together, working out, dining out. In the past few years we had a sort of come-to-Jesus moment about our finances. We started budgeting together in a rather rigorous way and couponing--yes, like on those TV shows but not quite as extreme--and have paid off a good 30 thousand in debt in the last couple years despite my partner being laid off. We still enjoy throwing parties although they are much more subdued than the parties we used to throw. We vacation a couple times a year and enjoy traveling.

    We're really a pretty boring little married couple now--but it's nice. And I think we've both had enough excitement in our early years to last a lifetime.:lol:
     
  6. biAnnika

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    Oh yes, I should definitely add as part of our lifestyle (though see my OP for everything else):
    (1) lingering over one cup of really great coffee (home ground/made) each day;
    (2) listening almost constantly to music almost every day;
    (3) meditation (at least in some form) virtually every day.
     
  7. YuriBunny

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    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
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    My lesbian lifestyle:

    ・I wake up at 6:00am on school days.
    ・I eat cereal for breakfast.
    ・I get dressed. I usually wear pretty gender-neutral clothes.
    ・I brush my hair and all that other stuff, and go to school.
    ・I forget something in my locker and have to go get it at some point in the day.
    ・I hang out with my friends- one of whom is really talkative and loves animals, and the other is really funny and loves anime and manga. Both are straight.
    ・I eat my lunch really slow. I'm last to leave the cafeteria.
    ・When I get home from school, I play with my dog.
    ・If I have homework, I do that in my room.
    ・I go online and check my email.
    ・I go on EC.
    ・I eat supper.
    ・I go right back to the computer.
    ・I might read manga or draw.
    ・I go to bed at either 8:00pm or 9:00pm if I'm going to school the next day.

    Hm, what a very gay life I lead! :confused:
     
  8. sagebrush

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    My gay lifestyle weekend:

    Spring means gardening for me, and this 4-day weekend the weather was wonderfully sunny and warm. Shopped at a few garden centers around town, picked up some annuals for my outdoor planters. Ordered a few unique new plants online. Planted cool-weather veggies in my raised-bed garden (snow peas, greens, beets, etc.). Sowed wildflower seeds in some barren areas in the garden. Weeded, trimmed, mowed, watered, built two new square planter boxes (quickly exhausting my carpentry skills). Stared at the large, dying cottonwood tree in my back yard and wondered for the millionth time how to get it cut down without going broke. Took photos of the blooming flowers when the sunlight was just right and shared them on Instagram. Enjoyed iced tea, the first watermelon of the season, and an adventurous Clive Cussler novel while relaxing in my lawn chair -- maybe caught a cat nap or two in the sunshine. Accepted the soreness in my knees and back as a badge of gardening honor. Felt content caring for my tiny little corner of the planet. Slept soundly... :sleep:

    Back to work tomorrow. Usually 9 hour days of teaching, and learning, and emails, and meetings, and rushing, and juggling, oh my. :help:

    I'll daydream about my garden if I can... :slight_smile:
     
  9. BlueSky224

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    sagebrush, your nature-infused life sounds so much more appealing.

    I get up at 6:00 am, take my dog outside, pause to look at the bay and the hillside. Then I have a Nespresso (or two), read the news, shower, and then try to find something to wear.

    I drive to work in some sort of haze.

    I get to work, put on my stethoscope to give the illusion that I actually know what I'm doing (I got a new one today.) I see my patients, answer a gajillion emails and phone calls, answer even more questions from those I supervise, and try to stay awake. If I'm lucky, I avoid any meetings.

    Then, sometime around 6:30, I make my way home, walk the dog, play with the dog, watch the sunset (except in the winter), and scrounge up something to eat.

    Sometimes I'm energetic enough to go for a run; tonight is not one of those nights.

    And that's my gay lifestyle. I think it's a tad less flashy than what one might expect. No go-go boots, no umbrella drinks, and no Cher.
     
  10. Iowan1976

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    My lifestyle:

    - Been single all my life.
    - Likes spending time at home reading and writing.
    - Exercises to stay in shape.
    - Stays in most nights.
    - Likes to go shopping, will go to the mall once a month for a 'big' shopping trip, but usually doesn't spend much (Love the clearance racks.)
    - Likes to travel, but does not go anywhere because I do not like to go alone.
    - I am optimistic
    -The few friends I have compare me the Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory"
     
  11. Biotech49

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    My lesbian lifestyle:
    -in a long distance relationship (met a year ago online - met physically about eleven months ago)
    -get up at 5:45 to make myself a fruit smoothie and coffee
    -always get to work at least a half hour early because I like to work alone and sing really loud while nobody is there
    -I am a biotechnologist working in a wheat genetics lab
    -I don't exercise
    -I would love to travel but don't have the time or money to do so
    -homebody (and so is my girlfriend)
    -love to read, watch Netflix, and catch up on beloved TV programs when I have the time
    -I text my girlfriend throughout the day when I can and when she can - it always puts a smile on my face and keeps me going
    -spend time with my boys when they have the time (one lives in Virginia and two live with me)
    -help out my mom whom I live with - we are currently redecorating her house because my dad, who just died, would never let her, Lol
    -most of my friends are lesbians
    -I am proud to be gay and will never hide again
    -my girlfriend got me addicted to Call of Duty Black Ops II and Ghosts
     
    #11 Biotech49, Apr 22, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2014
  12. a1rborne

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    My not so gay lifestyle:
    - I get up at 07:00, alone, never had a girl- or boyfriend, breakfast, drive to work
    - Work the whole day, I'm an R&D line manager with a team of 10, so I can hardly ever work more then 5 minutes without being interrupted. Pretend all day to know everything ( :icon_wink just kidding). Return around 18:30.
    - Many evenings and weekend days I spend with my hetero friends or family (cooking, bars, moutain biking, skiing, playing card games...). While coming out to my friends I found out that I'm not that lonesome as I always thought, I had to talk to more than 40 in total (me being introverted and shy...)! So cultivating these friendships takes quite a bit of time.
    - 3 to 4 times a week I exercise shortly for 30min, Mark Lauren's "You are your own gym" app is perfect for me, or I cycle up my local hill
    - Maybe once a week or so I try to turn down my hetero friends and spend the evening with my only gay friend in a gay bar or club. I'm kind of struggling to live a gayer life, to make more gay friends etc. As mentioned, I'm introverted and shy, so I intentionally and constantly have to expose myself to new (gay) experiences - this is one of the struggles of my life.
    - All in all, I'm well embedded in a large group of friends and family, nevertheless I started to feel terribly lonesome recently :icon_sad:. I'm really longing for a boyfriend.
     
    #12 a1rborne, Apr 22, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2014
  13. emkorora

    emkorora Guest

    - I wake up and see the sun shining into my apartment from across the Willamette River.

    - For breakfast, I prepare something quick (like a few bagels).

    - Get ready for the day-- take a shower, prepare for school, or begin organizing my papers.

    - I spend a mixture of my time either in class, finishing homework, or reading my law books.

    - After my fiance is done with his classes or work, I talk to him while I relax (which, for me, is either laying on my bed, watching West Wing, making dinner, or playing Guild Wars 2).

    - Once he's gone to sleep, I stay up a few more hours reading my law books and drafting briefs or memo's for the next day.
     
  14. flatlander48

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    Some of the background info is at the left. Other things:

    I'm a mechanical engineer and I work Monday through Friday, but also quite a few nights and weekends. We have RoadRunner, so I can connect to my company from home with no problem. Arrive at work ~8:30 and leave by ~6:00. Over the last 42 years of my working life, I have traveled quite a bit; maybe 15 states, lived in Taiwan for 6 years, Korea for 6 weeks, spent time in 5 other countries.

    Married to 1st wife for 30 years, have 2 adult who live in other states; one grandchild. Separated after she found out that I had slept with other men, but that was only one of 4 or 5 reasons that we separated. Lived a pretty quiet life. Never hung out with co-workers after quitting time. Did the usual family things including being a church-goer. Also sang in the choir and held various offices.

    Been with my 2nd wife for 12 years and married for 9. Almost 6 years ago she had a serious accident that resulted in a spinal cord injury. She mostly uses a wheelchair for mobility. We have friends over sometimes. I like to cook although I do not have a long list of things that I prepare. However, I don't use a cookbook; never have. Whenever I cook for somebody, it feels like I gift; something that I find very pleasurable. Sometimes we go out to eat or visit friends but not very often to parties.

    Other than hanging out and talking with my wife, I am a BIG motorsports fan. The phrase "Real race cars don't have fenders" should explain my preferences. I don't get to as many events as I used to, but I do try to make it to places where I haven't been before such as Road Atlanta in 2013 and Bowman Gray Stadium in 2012. I have a continually growing collection of motorsports books; many of which have been autographed by very famous people. Now that the weather is warming, I'll be in the yard detailing my MINI.

    What else? I am a movie buff, but mostly what I see is from watching HBO, Showtime, etc. Never a big fan of scary movies, but just about everything else. I am a road bike rider. I was up to 60 miles, but have slacked off over the past couple of years. Started back again a couple of weeks ago. And I crossdress. I dress part of just about every weekend and often once or twice during the week. The last time that I was out fully dressed, including wig and makeup, was this past January. We went to a drag show while on vacation in Palm Springs, CA

    Yes, pretty low key...
     
    #14 flatlander48, Apr 22, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2014