I just read and replied to a wonderful thread re coming out later in life. It has inspired me to post for the first time. I have been struggling with my sexuality for most of my life. Whether for religious reasons in my teens, fearing repercussions while serving in the Army, fear of actually being something that I was not choosing to be, etc, etc, etc. This last year I have begun the process with myself of accepting that I am gay. I have had NO relationships with either sex of a boyfriend or girlfriend nature, in fact I am a virgin... ***sigh*** I am at the point that I want to 'come out' and am planning to talk with my sister in the next couple of weeks. Of course I am deathly afraid of the outcome, but as I have seen in the posts here on EC, I need to do what is right for me. I know is just one one step of many in a long and difficult path before me, but it IS a step.
Congratulations, Arch, from the other side of the Cascades. It's never easy, but it sounds like you've done all of the ground work: all of the internal reflecting, questioning, and acceptance. I'm so glad that you are choosing not to struggle, and to open up both to your sister and others. Although it can be a "long and difficult path," it doesn't have to be. And you may be pleasantly surprised by some of the responses you receive. Your apprehension is understandable, but this might not be as stormy as you fear. All of us will support you however we can.
Arch, take it one step at a time. There is no timeframe here. There is no need to go faster or slower than you want to go. If I have any advice, do it as you are able. Start with someone close. Let is sit for a while, and move on if you choose too. Never forget that tho we are virtual here, we are still here all the same to help you.
Welcome to EC! I'm glad you found us. I'm also glad to hear that you're going to start down this road. As my signature states, it's never too late to be what you might have been. Good luck in talking to your sister. I'm sure it will be fine. We always expect the worst and find it goes much better!
No matter how good or bad the conversation with your sister goes, being honest with yourself is the biggest victory. Congratulations on your self acceptance. Being at peace with yourself makes each step out of the closet that much easier. Take your time. Do this on your own terms, not to meet someone else's expectations. Welcome to the later in life crowd. You'll find a lot of support here! -Rick
Hey Arch, welcome to EC! It is a momentous occasion to finally confront the facts about oneself, I compare it to opening the closet door while looking backwards, you can't yet see the possibilities you are opening up for yourself. You did the right thing connecting with us, we welcome you with open arms!
Hi Arch… welcome to EC you are with a lot of like minded people here. With all the 'conditioning' from church and military it will need moments of courage. But .. on this road … every step will make you stronger !! Good luck with your sister ! Do let us know how you get on!
