It feels strange to me.

Something happened today that I'd like to share. First let me give a little background. As I've already posted in another thread, I have come out to my daughters. I have also been slowly coming out to various friends (three so far). I have not yet come out to my son, but it's planned for Saturday. I will come out to my sister and mother in letters I am going to write to them (they both live too far from me for me to drive up and tell them in person). Anyway, my two youngest daughters (15 and 13) were with me today at Hardees, enjoying a meal. From where I was sitting, I had a good view of the door. These two guys came in and my "gaydar" immediately went off. I thought they were both good looking, but one of them really caught my eye. While I was (in my mind anyway), just looking their way, both my daughters started giggling like only school girls can. I asked them what was so funny and they both said they caught me checking out the two guys that came in the door. We laughed about it and had good fun over it. My youngest daughter tried to imitate the look she says came over my face when I saw them. It was one of those "ooooooo, I'd like to hit that" kind of looks, according to both of them. So, after getting in the car to come home, I started replaying the scene in my mind and couldn't figure out how they figured out so quickly that I was checking the one guy out. We talked about it, and they both said that it was as if something just came over me when I saw them. They said they could see me "being gay", whatever that's supposed to mean.

As happy as I am that this didn't freak my girls out, I have to admit that it feels strange to me. I made no conscious effort to make it obvious that I was checking this guy out, but it was obvious to them that that is what was going on. It has made me aware of something that I honestly didn't think about when I came to the decision to come out and work towards living my life as the gay man God created. That thing is this: who I am on the inside is starting to show on the outside without me knowing it. I'm not talking about being an effeminate person or a flamer. That is simply not me. I am talking about my becoming comfortable with being gay to the point that others around me are starting to see it.

I know this is just one incident, but it points to what I think is the beginning of this transformation that is happening in my life. It feels so strange to me, but not in a bad way. Thoughts?