Hi! Am trying to slowly come to terms that I am most likely gay, not bi. Whilst overtly I have no problem with the idea, the practice of dating women scares me. All my life I hid conveniently behind the idea of being bi. I connect to men easily and like their company, but I rarely connected 'from the heart', it was all mental connection and I grew to love them with time. I hid behind the idea of being 'picky' when it came to men, most of the ones I've encountered were simply 'not right'. With women I suddenly cannot hide behind all that. With men I've learned to operate on the principle to find a 'reason' to reject them as a potential date (when in reality I was really rejecting them because they were guys). Basically it felt incredibly safe. With women I cannot really operate on this principle, and it scares me! I have to find a way to positively engage with women to find out more about them and see if we maybe want to date each other. ( I am talking mostly about online dating here). Not dating women and clinging to the idea of being bi was my way of refusing to confront my vulnerability as a person and now once I cannot hide behind being bi, being out there kind of scares me. Did anyone have similar experiences? And advice how to conquer it?
Hi silvermoon ' I can relate to that...and about actually hooking up with the same sex, well since I came out of denial just recently, for the first time in my life my eyes roam for cute guys rather than girls...and I suddenly notice that a few of them are glancing at me also. I was at a tram stop when this gorgeous young bloke walked past, and I glanced at him, and he at me. He stood not far from me and began sort of tapping the barrier I was leaning on...I could feel this energy between us, but neither was game to look the other's way properly. That is of course a chance encounter and not a date prospect (well for some it might be but I'm a bit shy for that kind of thing at present) but still I can relate to the anxiety of actually diving in and making any kind of advance to a guy. But eventually Nature is going to kick in I'd say and there will come along some guy that I just click with, that I feel comfortable getting closer to, and I think that as you begin to accept more and more how you really feel, it will prob happen like that for you also. But it's a bit ironic, me dishing out advice when I'm so new to all this myself...maybe we can compare notes in a month and see how we've gone, hopefully one of us has something to report by then beefree
