Goodbye

I was reluctant to take this avenue, but I feel I have no options. As I have posted here before.. I am ( ugh now a 40 yr old) woman who had an affair and fell in love with a woman I worked with. I have left my husband amicably and have begun a new life as a gay woman. It has not been easy. In fact, it was terrifying. I naively assumed my love would last. Our love was authentic and worth almost two years of pain. Well... I was wrong. Here are a few lessons I learned along the way:
1) no matter what DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!! In a less profane way--don't date anyone at work. The commonality initially is great, but when things go south someone almost has to move on. Fortunate for me, my girl unravelled so she dug her own grave. She dug it so deep I've no worry she will ever return.
2) if you pick up on signals that there is something "off" about your lover, something that sits sour before you begin .. Or in the early stages... Or as she lies above you and looks like she kind of wants to hurt you--- or all three as in my case--RUN!
3) if you are unsatisfied sexually leave- really did any of us go through all of this to suffer (or continue to suffer)sexually?
4) if you find someone who insults you, doesn't listen to you and discounts the things you say... Leave-- seriously I was discounted by my husband for 15 years I shouldn't have taken it for two seconds from her
5) no matter what the attraction is..if major things keep popping up-- like poor hygiene or self harm realize that the person you are with may have issues of their own.. And as we all know we are the only ones who can fix our situations. You can't cure anyone--especially later in life-- so stop trying.
6) when people lie to you shout little things-- it's bc they are lying about everything
7)if people have deluded fantasies about themselves or their kids... It's just another layer of denial-- and actually it's lying too- just lying to themselves
8)when people demand you do anything-or push you to move your timeline of events constantly.. Their actions equate to manipulation. Period.
9) if you are a happy person don't try to convert a sad person.. And don't convert yourself to sad to get along
10) finally if someone has some qualities that are really great and others that don't make par-- forget it- we've spent out lives trying to make a compromise work. It never does.

I'm sorry I have to leave EC, but my big settle stalked me here. She fabricated a profile and I was banned at a time I needed it most . I then emailed her bc I missed her and was sad and lonely. She quickly told me I was a piece of crap.. Showed me her new gf pic and told me her name-- rubbing it in at every corner. She started lying again and putting me down. I'm weak -she said.... And I guess she's right bc I can't shake that crazy bitch unless I completely cut off all contact with her. That's just what I'm doing. I'll miss you all. Thank you for listening.

Remember if it looks like a duck and acts like a duck ( or a borderline manipulative obsessive dr) it's a duck. ( or in her case a lunatic that I really don't like as a human being)

Signing off-

Lovetoski

 

To the person who has been cruel and abusive to my friend Lovetoski- Get some therapy!

Lovetoski- Before we all found EC many of us felt totally alone. Every voice here gives others the strength and courage to share their own stories. We are a family here at EC. Don't let fear control you. You are finally out and free!!!!! Your voice is needed here!!!!
Hugs!!!!!

 

I let fear keep me off EC for a while. Silence gives the fear more power over you!
I will NOT be silent!!!
(*hug*)(&&&)