Put shortly, I came to my mother two months ago. She was all fine and stuff when I came out and acted supporting and asked me if I was maybe bisexual or it was a phase and I made it VERY clear that I'm gay. On two occasions she's said "When you get a girlfriend" or something in those lines. I told her the first time "You know I'm not interested" and both times I just booted her out of my room. I try to blame it on her mental illness, which is paranoid schizophrenia, but clearly she remembers I came out to her because the first time she said "I'm sorry" and today she said "Don't be mad at me". I know most straight people don't understand what it's like to have your sexual orientation denied, ignored and made fun of, but for five years I've gone through bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, low-self esteem and she knows about some of these things. It just hurts a lot and I don't know what to do. I'm only 15 and I obviously can't move out, and although our relationship is fine most of the time this really hurts me. She keeps it a secret from the rest of my family, although I said I don't care - I do care, I'm GAY. We live in a conservative european country, not crazy conservative but, pretty conservative and I depend on my grandfather who is a racist, homophobic pig, for the roof above my head. I don't know what to do or how to cope with this, it feels a lot worse than before coming out of the closet.
Hey Vess, welcome to EC! We may not have specific or even useful advice for you, but I'm glad you reached out to us. Many of those who post here have gone through what you are experiencing. It's good that your mother is accepting, but she will have her moments of doubt, just as you probably had during the time it took you to accept your homosexuality. Just accept that it will take her time to fully realize what this means, maybe just as long as it took you! I do not recommend coming out to your grandfather, this will be a mistake and he could possibly kick you out. You may have to accept a few more years of living in the closet in order to live where you are. We don't know whether this could happen or not, but it is a possibility. We are here to listen to you, don't hesitate to post here often. Just knowing that there are others like you in this world should help.
Thank you so much for the welcoming and for the kind words. I try not to get angry about things and I'm a patient person so, I'll try to give her the time she needs.
