I have come out to myself. I really wish that the realization that I am gay had come years ago. I wish i didn't have to hurt my husband and kids. but i'm hurting them more by staying unhappy. HEre is my situation: I'm 31 and married to a great man with 2 kids. I have been a stay at home mom for years. I have no job or income of my own. And my husband is getting ready to leave the army. He will be done in a few months time. HE has no job lined up yet. Just interviewing all over the country and hoping to find a good position. SO do i leave WITH him and live together if he will allow it, so that i have time to get a job again, get some freedom, and then get my own place? or do i leave now before the big move to who knows where? I really don't know what to do. This will be such a transition for my 6 year old as it is and to throw in a separation/divorce would be even worse. My 2 year old obviously has no real concept of what will be happening. I don't even know how my husband will take the news. I am hoping he will be understanding enough that we can figure out the best path for our kids and ourselves. anyone ever go through this? How do you start over from scratch?
Yeah I've been through this. It's a hard but rewarding path to authenticity. Your husband will need to adjust in his own way in his own time. No one knows how their partner will react. You just have to be brave and tell him One thing that should be said is however hard these thoughts are they won't kill you. It's ok to be gay take your time and come out when your ready. Hugs
I am 39 and I have recently separated from my husband of 11 years. I have 2 children aged 9 and 6. To be honest there were other reasons for the failure of our marriage which made me start thinking about my sexuality. Once that door is open it's really difficult to close it again. Counselling has really helped me. Feel free to ask me questions if you think I can help you. It's really early days for me, we only separated 2 weeks ago and it's been a bumpy ride. I'm not out to many people so I have a long way to go. However, I already feel more relaxed without my husband. I do miss my children when they are with their dad though. (*hug*)
can i ask how you went about finding a place to live, splitting finances, spousal and child support, etc. We too have many other issues not just my sexuality.
At the moment we still have shared finances. He has rented a house and we are both paying for it. We have a joint business so there is a lot to sort. However, I went to see a solicitor and she told me that it will all be split depending on how much we individually earn. I will be expected to work during school hours but the courts don't like to see children in childcare so full time would not be seen as a good idea. It would be unlikely that I will get a mortgage on my own so she told me that my husband will probably need to pay maintenance or I will be entitled to a bigger chunk of the house when we sell it. I am based in the UK so things may be different if you are in another country. I would seek legal advice if you can. My husband threatened to use my depression and sexuality to win custody of my boys. However the solicitor said he would be laughed out of court if he did that. Things have been difficult but have calmed down since he left. I just need to get the energy to proceed with divorce now. I know when I do I will have a fight on my hands. Are you able to get some advice? Would your husband fight you for the children?
